life is meant to be cruel
by Ephemeral Blossoms
Summary: Abused by his father and haunted by his past, Sasuke soon realizes that the ugliest one is himself. / You think I'm hideous, don't you? / I think you're beautiful. / AU High school. Eventual NaruSasu.
1. mistakes are meant to be erased

A/N: I intended to put up this fic three years ago, but due to intense writer's block, I couldn't write anything decent until now. For that, I'm truly sorry. However, I learned a lot from writing my previous multichapter fic, so I'm hoping that this will be an improvement upon that.

WARNING: This story is rated M for a reason. That means that anything goes; there will be a myriad of triggers, and besides this warning, I won't warn you when any of them are coming. I do provide specific warnings in T rated fics, but the M rating for this should tell you everything you need to know. So, to quickly go through them, there might be abuse, eating disorders, suicidal tendencies, an NCS, or a lime. I can guarantee no lemons. Anyway, thank you for reading, and please enjoy this story!

* * *

**"Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."**

**- Terry Pratchet**

* * *

I never imagined it would end like this: lying sprawled on my damp basement floor, unable to move, and barely left with the strength to breathe. My nose feels so disconnected from my face that I have to breathe as much as I can through my mouth, but the air burns at my throat; it's so raw from vomiting blood. I can barely even see anymore. My vision is cloudy, and everything seems so far away from me. It's like I'm no longer a part of this world. The strange feeling of my own blood pooling beneath me doesn't even frighten me anymore. The sounds of screaming from upstairs are hollow, and I can no longer tell whose voices they are. They all sound the same to me, and they're blended together...I can't tell one sentence from another...

Is this what it's like to die?

"_Sasuke! Where are you!?"_

I'm in so much pain, yet I feel numb at the same time. Hot, yet cold. I'm positive my arms are broken too, if not shattered, and my legs...I couldn't move them last time I tried, but now I can't move anything anymore, so it doesn't really matter. Now that I feel so displaced and empty, I can't bring myself any longer to care - it's too late for that. My family never needed me. My friends (if I can even call them that) didn't know my true self. Everything...I wonder if it really mattered at all. All I know, or all I think I know, is that...this is the end.

The thought of death breathing in my face is, to be honest, a little frightening. I never got the chance to do anything worthwhile, and I only made mistakes. I disappointed everyone who ever knew me, and now I don't even know what's going to happen to me. Am I going to hell, heaven, or...nowhere at all? Am I afraid of the unknown, or am I just bitter and disappointed that I couldn't be a better person? I always thought I didn't deserve to live, but now that I'm finally losing my life, I don't know what to think anymore. Maybe I think I deserve a second chance at life? That can't be...I think...I just wish that I had been a better son. I was always a monstrous, hideous disappointment to my father, and I was too powerless to stop him and the others from hurting me. No matter what I did, I was just a fool who couldn't become happy. I don't deserve to live, so this pitiful death is befitting of me.

Still though...I'm afraid.

"_Sasuke? Sa-...what?" "What the...Sasuke...? SHIT! Sasuke, can you hear me!? SASUKE!" _

Everything is black now. I can't see anything anymore, and the voices are fading quickly. It's just me, all by bitter, hideous self, and I hate it. I hate myself. I deserve this punishment, but I don't want it. Father and Nii-san will be a lot better off without me, but I wanted to live to become someone worthwhile. I could never live up to the Uchiha name, and I could never be as good as my brother, but could I have changed that? I was always just a mistake, that big blot of ink that tainted the Uchiha name, and I'll be erased now. Mistakes should be erased after all; that's the way it should be. I'm just the error, the _thing _that doesn't belong, and death is the eraser to get rid of me. But...can't a mistake be fixed? Mistakes are erased to be corrected, right? Even if that's true, someone as clueless as me doesn't deserve to live anyway. I don't deserve to live. I want to live.

Friends? They were all fake. They constantly told me that I was too skinny, that I didn't have to push myself so hard, and that I didn't have to be perfect. I don't understand why they would want me to be an even huger disappointment. They couldn't have ever really cared for me if they would try to deceive me like that. They _lied _to me. Father always told me I was revolting, and he wouldn't lie to me...would he? I can't even comprehend why Naruto would stay with me for so long...why he let me cry on his shoulder, let me screw up his life. Back then, I just wanted everything to end.

"_SASUKE, DON'T DIE ON ME, YOU BASTARD! Sasuke, no! CAN'T YOU DO CPR ON HIM!?"_

It's funny; I've wanted to kill myself for so long, but now I'm not sure if I really want to die or not. If I had the energy, I'd probably be panicking right now, but there's hardly any time left. Now, staring up into nothing, I realize this world I lie in, this dark emptiness that surrounds me, is me. I am nothing. I never had the strength to make myself a better person. I was just weak, and for that, there's nothing good nor bad inside of me...just emptiness. It was my fault that Mom fell into a coma in the first place, a sin that can never be forgiven. She was the only one who ever really cared about _me_, and for that she's dying. She always told me I was so handsome, so beautiful, and she was proud to have me as her son. I've shamed her; I've turned into a monster, a disgusting, grotesque monster.

I could never become happy.

"_No...fuck! DAMMIT, WHEN IS THE AMBULANCE GOING TO GET HERE?! Did you even call 911?"_

If all this pain and agony I've had to endure will disappear, then I'm happy to die. Father would never hurt me without a reason. All this time he was just trying to liberate me so I could go somewhere where I wouldn't be a disappointment, somewhere I could be myself and have that be okay. That's right. Yeah, that's exactly why he did this to me. He really does love me after all. Besides, it's completely my fault that I'm dying here, so I can't blame him for my imminent death. I'm scared, but I can trust him...can't I?

I know I'm lying to myself, but I just won't accept it.

For that, I do deserve to die.

So, I guess this really is death after all. I'm not so sure anymore. I'm not sure of anything. Maybe I'm not actually dying; maybe I'm just hallucinating. I wouldn't be surprised after all that crap that happened, but that might just be wishful thinking. I'm pretty sure this is death though. It feels strange...I feel so tired...and sleepy...

"_No...Sasuke, don't die on me now, you bastard! Don't do this to me! Sasuke, don't leave us! You promised me...!" _

"_DON'T GO!"_

I can't hear anything anymore...dammit...Naruto, if you're there...you helped me, I admit it. I suppose I trusted you a little...I don't know anymore, but I DO know that...you were...the greatest friend I ever had.

Naruto...good night.

...

Dammit. You can't die without your life flashing before your eyes, can you?

* * *

.::_**Twelve Months Earlier::.**_

This is it. Gazing up at the huge, grand Victorian house before me, I know I'm no longer in Japan. This really is the end of the life I had in Tokyo, and I need to wake up to the reality of living in Vancouver, a city all the way in Canada.

I shut my eyes and simply let myself breathe as Nii-san parks inside the garage, the sun fading from beyond my eyelids. Everything will get better by moving here. Already I no longer have to live alone in a school dormitory, barely able to wait for Nii-san's too short phone calls; he never could visit me often. I won't have to wonder about Mom anymore, even though Nii-san would always assure me she was okay. I won't have to worry about my family at all. Assuming the people here don't know about the Uchiha Corporation, I won't even have to worry about the fake people at school who tried to date me or befriend me for my status and money. My mind can finally be at peace.

"Welcome home, Sasuke."

The roar of the engine quiets down, and Nii-sanswiftly exits the car. "I will help you with your luggage and show you to your room. In Western culture, you would normally call me by my first name, Itachi, but here at home, you can still call me Nii-san."

I nod and unbuckle my seat belt, grabbing my half empty knapsack from the back before exiting the car. Nii-san already has my suitcase and is starting up the garage steps, so I obediently follow him into the rather unwelcoming house.

I didn't want to move here. I really loved Japan, my home, but my entire family is in Vancouver (except for during the school year when Nii-san is attending university; he goes to Harvard for that), plus I hate worrying about Mom everyday from all the way over in Japan. I can't believe it has already been five years since the accident. It feels like yesterday that it happened, even though I don't remember it very well. All I remember is the pouring rain, Mom lying in a pool of blood, people yelling by our Porsche, and my fingers curled around my copy of _Genji no Monogatari_. I fell unconscious after that, but in the end, I only ended up with a concussion. The concussion was bad enough that I still have to take pills everyday to prevent migraines, and sometimes I still get dizzy. Mom...was not so lucky.

I shouldn't think about it. It makes my head hurt.

Inside, the house has exactly the same cold environment as its outside: designed to seem inviting, but void of any life. The mahogany walls are flourished with gold trim, but are barely visible because of the multiple bookcases filled with various books, books that are probably filled with nothing but blank pages. It looks so incredibly neat, so unlived in that this feels more like a museum.

"As you can guess, this is the library," Nii-san gestures to the books without stopping, continuing through the only threshold in the room. Closing the garage door behind me, I walk behind Nii-san into the entrance hall. The walls this time are a deep brown, and a closet lies closed to the right of the front door. A spiraling staircase looms in front of me, the rails similar in color to the walls. Nii-san continues up the staircase, confident that I'm behind him. I refuse to let him down.

Upstairs are surprisingly white walls, bare of anything. It seems that the decor downstairs is just for show. Before I get a chance to comment on the stark contrast between the two floors, Nii-san speaks, "Downstairs is also a dining room, a kitchen, a den, half a bathroom, and the basement. Here you will also find the stairs to the attic, your bedroom, my bedroom, two guest rooms, three bathrooms, the master bedroom, and Father's office. There are also various closets. I'm sure you don't need me to show you around after you see your bedroom." He smiles gently, a smile he'll only ever show me or Mom. "I am sure you'll become well acquainted with the house if you just explore it for yourself."

As I nod and wonder how the house can manage to be so clean with so many rooms, Nii-san disappears into the last room on the left, presumably my bedroom. For some reason, I can feel my heart pumping out of my chest. There's no reason to be anxious, but…

The room is no different from what I expected. A double bed with plain black sheets lies in the left corner, contrasting the blank walls starkly. A desk sits opposite from the bed with only a tiny lamp on it, both beneath an ordinary ceiling fan. An undersized closet is on my right, where the wall turns to the left after a couple of meters, hiding some of what is on the left side of the room. To summarize it, the room is rather dull. The only thing that adds any life to it is the window, in which emerald green trees that adorn the neighbor's lawn are visible, as well as the other rich houses in the neighborhood.

"There is a personal bathroom on the other side of that wall," Nii-san explains before I even ask. He has already set down my luggage by the door, but he glances at me before he turns to go. "Father is not coming home tonight because of a conference, but you will be able to meet him tomorrow. The Uchiha Corporation is one of the richest companies in the world, so he is not home often, but he has made the point of making it home as soon as possible so he can see you. I am also leaving for university the day after tomorrow, so tomorrow will be our only family gathering for a long time. Dinner is at 6:00, so if you wander outside, just make sure to be back by then."

"Is the hospital around here?" I abruptly ask. "I'm going to go see Mom first."

Nii-san looks shocked for a moment. "I did not think you were ready for that, but I suppose it has been five years seen you have last seen her. Just go left from the front entrance for approximately three blocks, and you should be able to see the university hospital."

"Thanks," I nod, swallowing. "I'm going to unpack some, and then I'll go see her. I'll be back by 5:59."

Nii-san smiles kindly before leaving me alone. Just before he creaks the door closed, he whispers. "Again, welcome home, Sasuke."

I smile slightly. I guess my big brother missed me too.

As the door clicks, I toss my bag to the ground and collapse on the bed, which is surprisingly comfortable. I'm surprised; it's obvious that this house never has guests based on the lack of decoration on this upper floor, but Father seems to have invested in a quality bed.

All I want to do is shut my eyes and go to bed, but I have to stay awake if I want to get with this time zone. Honestly, this is the longest Monday of my life, and I'll be lucky if I don't have any jet lag tomorrow. Even just going through the day's events in my head makes me dizzy. Waking up at 5:00AM in Tokyo to catch my eight hour plane ride, having it delayed by several hours, and then arriving mid-afternoon in Vancouver on the same day is tiring.

Groaning to myself, I will myself to nod off my pushing myself off the bed. I grab my bag and pull the zippers open, unveiling _Genji no Monogatari._ I hold it in my hands for a few minutes. There are still a few fading blood stains, and some of the pages are curled from the rain that night, but I love this book. Mom gave it to me as a child, and I've read it so many times since then that I've lost count.

I put _Genji no Monogatari_ neatly on my desk before returning to my bag, where I have to stick my hand into it to search for those migraine pills. Finally, I fish out those horrible white things, popping one in my mouth before flicking the light switch and heading out to see Mom.

* * *

"Excuse me, but could you tell me where Mikoto Uchiha's room is? I'm her son."

The smell of disinfectant in hospitals is nauseating. I've never liked hospitals, especially with the stench of disinfectant and the chaos the nurses and patients created in the lobby. It's not like I ever swore that I wouldn't go back to a hospital after having been in that accident, but I do my best to stay away from them.

"Room 326," the receptionist says without even looking up, her voice monotone.

I nod as a thank you and ignore the people bustling around me as I stride toward the elevator doors. I haven't been this close to Mom since the accident, and I don't know what to do or how to react. I am admittedly nervous, but I take a deep breathe and try to relax.

The button has already been pushed to go up by some nurse beside me, whose pink - _pink? _-hair sits at her shoulders. She glances at me, pauses, and then smiles that plastered smile all nurses have. Her name plate is close enough to me that I can read the name _Sakura Haruno. _Judging by her face and name, she's probably half Japanese. She also looks too young to be a nurse...this girl can't be any older than I am.

"Good afternoon!" she beams just as the elevator door opens. We both step inside, but I don't bother to look at her. Just a slight nod should suffice as acknowledgment. I'm too irritable from fatigue and too nervous for what is to come to do any better than that.

She frowns a little. "Which floor?"

"Third."

I can see her push the button for the third floor, but she doesn't push any of the others. I guess we're going to the same floor. She seems to almost be staring at me for no apparent reason, but she also seems puzzled. Out of annoyance, I chew my lip.

The door chimes open, and we shuffle out into the long, painfully white hallway. Unlike what I expected, there doesn't seem to be much medical staff crowding the hallways. Room 326, huh? It seems like odd number doors are to my left, so I guess it must be on the right. I head that way behind the nurse, much to my displeasure.

Finally, room 326 comes into view, and I'm still behind that nurse. There's no mistaking it now; she must be tending to Mom. Sakurasteps inside, leaving me out in the hallway. I clench my fists; I don't want her to be in the room with me when I see Mom, and...I just can't go in. Maybe Nii-san was right. Maybe it is too soon.

A family reunion...well, I didn't walk here for no reason.

I turn the doorknob and brace myself as I enter the room.

Inside, the walls are still as blank as ever, and there's nothing inside but a small drawer and a bed, medical equipment, Sakura and…

Mom?

A comforter is drawn over a body, leaving only the face and arms visible. Her dark hair frames her pale face, and her hands are clasped on top of the bed sheets. Small tubes travel up her nostrils as a monitor beside an IV drip records her vitals, beeping every so often beside her. She looks exactly the same as in my last memory of her, if just a little bit older.

It...it's really Mom.

"Are you Itachi's little brother? You look just like Ms. Uchiha." Sakura spits out quickly, her face flushed. I gulp for air suddenly; I hadn't realized I was holding my breath. I glance at her quickly only to see her sea foam colored eyes gazing at me curiously. This busybody is expecting an answer from me.

"Yes," I reply hesitantly. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha. And who are you? There's no way you can be a nurse here."

"I'm doing summer co-op for a credit in school," she responds cooly. "I'm actually on break right now with my supervisor, but I wanted to double check on Ms. Uchiha quickly. She's been doing better lately! She's really stable, and -" she pauses to stare at me quietly, probably noticing the vague grief in my eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about this. Anyway, welcome to Vancouver! Itachi mentioned you were coming and said we'll be going to the same school, Konoha Private High School, as of tomorrow. He comes here often, and -"

"Can you leave me alone?" I interrupt her, turning away from her. I waited five years for this moment with Mom, and the last thing I want is to have it ruined by Sakura.

She looks stricken, but nods out unabashedly. Hearing her shut the door, I pull up a chair by Mom's bed and let myself collapse into it. I stare at my mother's face without a word for what seems like eons. It seems so peaceful, like she's just taking a nap and might wake up soon.

I...I don't know what to do. I want to cry. I want to run out of here. I want to talk to her.

Talking to her. That might be a good idea. Maybe she'll hear me...or maybe I'll just look stupid.

Nobody is here except the two of us. I'm the only one who'll know how stupid I'm being.

"I'm so tired, Mom," I whisper, opting for my native Japanese rather than practicing my English. With a small smile, I put my hands over hers and drop my head on the bed. "I missed you. How are you? It's been a while." I know better than to expect a response, so I just watch the rise and fall of her chest. Why was she the one to end up in the coma instead of me? _Because the car hit her directly, idiot, _I tell myself, but still, there isn't a moment in which I haven't wished that I had been in the coma instead.

I'm really not quite sure what happened that night, the night of the accident. I know I was in the car with Mom, and we were going somewhere...then a car hit us. At least, that's what I was told. I don't remember what really happened in the car that fateful day. It was Mom's fault apparently for going through a red light, so the driver of the other car got away with what he did. Mom never drove so dangerously though, so...it just doesn't make any sense.

"I've been doing well," I tell Mom, pushing those memories aside and shifting in my seat. "I got perfect scores on all my tests and assignments in Japan, and I never got into trouble. It wasn't too lonely living with just Nii-san for four of those five years since the crash. You know that Father moved you here because he thought that being back in your hometown might be good for you, right? The medicare here is also fantastic, and the hospital is by the ocean...he thinks it'll help you wake up. Anyway, Nii-san left Japan when I became old enough to live alone in a school dormitory. He wanted to go to Harvard, but he went to Todai until I was old enough to stay by myself. He transferred to Harvard in his second year, so he commutes between Boston, here, and Tokyo when I used to live there. It was a bit weird to be alone for an entire year in a school dormitory, but I managed."

I grimace at those foul memories. When Mom just wouldn't wake up, Father moved her here to Vancouver and created a base for Uchiha Corporation at the core of the city. Of course, he stayed here to make sure she was okay, leaving me with just Nii-san. Neither of us wanted to leave Japan at the time, so we didn't, but after Nii-san left and I had lived alone in Japan for a year, Father wanted me to move to Vancouver. He didn't say why, and I knew better than to ask. At least Nii-san's classes don't start until next week, so I can still see him for a few days before he leaves for university.

"I came from Tokyo to be here with you, and I'm staying here for good. I didn't have many friends to say goodbye to anyway. In fact...I didn't have any friends at all. But you've always said that the Uchiha are family and that we only need each other, so it doesn't matter. However, the lady from the disgusting tea shop you always hated insisted on giving me a ton of tea before I left. Of course, it was terrible as usual."

I hear a foreign sound, and it takes me a few seconds to realize that I laughed. I hadn't done that in a while; there's never been any reason to. Being with Mom, I open up easily, if I pretend that she's only sleeping. It's foolish for me to do that...I'm just running from the truth.

"Why...won't you wake up?"

Suddenly, the sound of metal clacks against the tiled floor. I whip my head around to see that _idiot_, and by the look on her face, she was trying to keep her arrival a secret. Her mouth is a perfect O, and her eyes are overflowing with guilt. She's bent down, ready to pick up her dropped name pin, but she seemingly froze as soon as I turned around.

I feel my heart drop in my chest, anger boiling in the void my heart left behind. My hands furl into fists, and I just barely hold myself back from lashing out at her. She dared to intrude in here without even knocking, and she saw me when my guard was down. I'd never talk about things so private, let alone laugh with such an airhead, but now she knows about me, about my family. Everyone at school might as well already know.

Taking a deep breath, I prepare to growl at her, but then hesitate. She's half-Japanese, but she might not actually speak Japanese.

"What did you hear?" I ask darkly.

"Uh, I...," she gulps nervously, "I only know some Japanese, and I came in just a minute ago, so I didn't really hear anything."

"What did you hear?" I ask again, my eyes on fire with anger.

Sakura shuffles her feet, then looks into my eyes with a somewhat flushed pallor. "I heard that you moved here from Tokyo, but I swear I won't tell anyone what I heard."

"Good."

She nods solemnly and hurries away, and all that is left is a bad taste in my mouth.

I stay with Mom for another hour before saying goodbye. I don't say anything more though; I just hold her hand and lay my head right beside hers as if there was nothing wrong with the world.

* * *

_Ding dong._

Monday morning. The school bell rings irritatingly, presumably the warning bell for next class, and it makes my head hurt even more. To put it crudely, jet lag sucks. Even so, here I am, just sitting at a desk alone in my first period psychology class. No one is here yet, not even the teacher.

The design of this school is rather magnificent, almost castle-like in architecture, which gives it an interesting touch. In all reality, it's just a typical, gray building. The walls are your standard white, but at least it looks like the lockers were repainted recently; they are an unscratched sky blue. Regardless, I will be spending at least two years here, so I must come to like this school. Biting my tongue, I unfold the crumpled piece of paper called my timetable and attempt to pinpoint where the rest of my classes are. With psychology and math this morning with physics and gym in the afternoon, this semester is rather easy. However, that means next semester might as well be a death sentence: English, business, chemistry, and biology in one day is heavy, but I'll manage. Of course, I'm taking orchestra as an extra credit two mornings a week before classes start, but that doesn't feel like a chore to me.

I pick up _Genji no Monogatari_ from my school bag and open it to the beginning when I hear someone stumble into the class.

"Hey, are you a new guy?"

Oh no, don't tell me that new students here are as 'exciting' as the transfer students in Japan. I don't want attention for being new. I just want to blend in.

"You ARE a new student, aren't you?" some idiot leaps straight at me (too close, too close!), and sticks his face merely millimeters from mine. "I'm Hero, Hero Knight!"

Hero's cerulean eyes seem to almost twinkle from stupid happiness - how can you be so happy to see a stranger? - and though I want to lean back and away from him, I stop myself. This is not Japan anymore, and assimilation is necessary to get by. However, this guy is definitely the worst; he's your typical all-American boy with blonde hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin, but it's just that smile, that _annoying _smile that is the signpost labeling him as a nuisance. Besides, how does someone end up with such a stupid name too? Hero Knight? Is that supposed to be a joke?

"Hello," I reply stoically. I try to sound decent, but this guy, he's really the type of person I hate most, and I don't need him to make my fatigue and headache even worse. "Shouldn't you be getting to class, or is this your class too?"

Ignoring what I have to say, Hero's ADHD mind takes over when his eyes wander over toward my schedule. "Oh, so you're in this class? Psychology first period with Kakashi? Me too!" Before I can interject with some retort that, despite the shred of hope I had that I was wrong, this mutual class is an obvious observation, his eyes seem to nearly bulge out of his head. "We have nearly the same schedule for the year! We don't have physics together this semester nor business next semester, but our six other classes are exactly the same!"

I feel my heart fall in my chest, and knowing that I'm stuck with this loser all year sickens me.

"Oh, people are here already!" I hear a cheery voice from behind.

Glancing behind me, I can feel my mouth tug downward. It's not just this guy now, but _her, _that Sakura girl. Though she first seems to throw Hero some unimpressed look, her bright emerald eyes widen at the sight of my face. She eyes the floor as if there's something interesting on the plain tiles, and after a moment of hesitation, she looks back up at me.

"Sasuke, right?" she smiles tentatively. "I'm Sakura, remember? I'm sorry if we had a shaky introduction yesterday, but I hope you feel welcome at this school."

"What's all this about?" Hero starts to rise from his seat in front of me, clearly uncomfortable about being out of the loop.

I raise an eyebrow, but then shake my head as a few more people file into the room. "Just forget about it."

She sighs a breath of relief. "Okay, I'm so glad now. Oh, what classes do you have this semester?"

"What's going on here?" Hero starts to fume impatiently, but it's almost comical. Ignoring him, I hand Sakura my schedule. She's at least a bit calmer than Hero.

Sakura eyes him, miffed. "I'm talking to Sasuke, not you, Naruto!" Without a second thought, she scans over my schedule briefly, then grins, but not annoyingly like some people I know. "We have this class and physics in the afternoon together. We have chemistry next semester too, as well as orchestra in the morning!" She motions at me to take back my schedule. "What instrument do you play? I play the violin."

"Me too," I mention as I slip my schedule back into my pocket. She seemed like a completely different person when she snapped at Naruto like that. It was like a mix of annoyance and dislike was painted across her face, but washed away when she looked at me. Don't tell me she's going to be like the girls back in Japan that practically stalk me everywhere.

Wait...who is Naruto?

"I always introduce myself using my username to see if I actually know the person online," Naruto explains hastily as soon as he sees my death glare, "or to see if they'll actually believe that that's my name! You were the first person to believe me, so I wanted to see how long I could trick you. I'm Naruto Uzumaki!"

"Like I care," I hiss through my teeth. I officially _hate _this idiot. My eyes must be even more poisonous than usual, because Naruto just makes a face before hastily turning to face the front of the class.

I consider asking Sakura more about her curious behavior just in time for a hoard of classmates to rush into the room as the final bell rings, making me grimace. Are people seriously this late over here? I mean, I vacationed here when I was little, and by watching American dramas, I've been able to keep up with the language, but I guess the culture is a different thing in Canada.

But where is the teacher?

"If you're wondering about Kakashi, he's always late, no matter what class he's teaching," the pink-haired girl mentions before taking her seat beside me. "I had him last year for another course. It's okay just to sit around and do something until he shows up in five to ten minutes."

"Beware the fact that sometimes he doesn't show at all," Naruto snickers from in front of me.

I take note of this and simply pull out a plain, clear binder and a pen. Father told me which courses I had to take through Nii-san, but they were the courses I would have chosen anyway to please him. Though I'll only be the heir to the Uchiha Corp if something happens to Nii-san, I have to be prepared for that and live as if I will be the heir even if it's not something I want. Really, though I want to live up to my family name, I'd rather be a professional violinist. Music is more of my passion than anything, and Mom really encouraged it while we were in Japan. I took lessons for years, and I'm at a quite a high level now just from that and practice; it's been enough to win me a few competitions and titles. It was the only nonacademic activity Father ever let me take seriously. In terms of getting a university degree though, I'd rather go into science than commerce.

"We should go to the mall after school!" Sakura's voice interrupts my thoughts. I glance at her briefly, and she seems to have this stupid, embarrassed look on her face. Oh, God, no. Is there no end to these love struck girls?

"Sakura!" a fierce, female voice screams from behind me. Some blonde girl with hair just past her hips is sitting there, and she seems to be quite irritated at Sakura. She suddenly sees me notice her, and she gets _another _stupid look on her face.

"Hi," she smiles nervously. "Are you new here? I can show you around. My name is Ino Yamanaka, but just call me 'my girlfriend.'"

I freeze and stare at her, and I know there's probably some hatred in my eyes stabbing at her. By leaving Japan, I thought I could get away from the annoyances who try to be your friend for money or some other ulterior motive, but apparently they're everywhere. I suppose that's to be expected.

As Sakura and Ino begin to bicker over trivial things, Naruto's voice sticks out most of all. "Just ignore them," he flashes a sheepish smile. "They're really obsessed with Asian boy bands and argue all the time over them. But anyway, we should hang out after school together-"

"NO!" Sakura and Ino instantly burn holes through Naruto, flames practically dancing within their eyes. I guess people, or at least these two, don't really like Naruto. Who would like him, anyway?

"Okay, good morning class!" an extremely lazy, apathetic voice resounds in the room. "I'm sorry I'm late, but there was a ladder in my path this morning, so I had to find another way to get to school."

Some laugh, but most people just groan. I, however, refuse to do either. As he struts down the aisles to the front of the class, I can see he has a scar running down his cheek, and his droopy eyes reflect his sloth-like behavior. Strangely, he has a medical mask covering the bottom half of his face; I suppose he is sick, but as far as I know, people don't wear medical masks in public very often in Canada. Not to mention his lateness and laziness, is this guy really a teacher?

He lazily scrawls his name, apparently Kakashi Hatake, across the chalkboard and points at it. "Call me what you want. Mr. Hatake, Sir, Kakashi, Mister, Captain Kirk, I don't really care, but I guess most people call me Kakashi or Mr. Kakashi. Alright, I guess I better go over the course outline, so at least pretend to pay attention."

For about half an hour, Kakashi drones on about what subject matter we'll be covering this term when he suddenly pulls out a pack of cards. "Okay, now that that is done, I don't really feel like teaching today, so let's just do some card tricks. Someone come up here and pick a card."

The class suddenly burst into happy cheers, pleased to not have to do anything for the half hour left of class. Someone with a furry hood saunters to the front of the class with a smirk, probably happy to get out of work.

"Now, I don't want to hear any objections, class, or else." Kakashi smiles, but there is a dark atmosphere leaking from underneath his mask, sinister enough to make sure no one objects.

After about ten minutes of unimpressive card tricks, I'm starting to get irritated. I mean, I came here to learn, not to watch some cheap magic show! And worst of all, nobody is saying anything. I mean, Naruto is sitting in front of me laughing, Sakura looks unhappy but is unwilling to say anything, and other buffoons are chatting with each other! I refuse to put up with this, no matter how much the others will.

"Excuse me," I darkly state as I stand from my seat (forgetting that you're not supposed to stand when addressing the teacher in Canada, but that's inconsequential), "but unless this has nothing to do with psychology, I refuse to sit here watching your card tricks when I could be doing something more productive."

The class suddenly turns silent, placing their large, shocked eyes on me. Kakashi slowly, almost robotically, turns his head to stare at me frigidly, and the atmosphere suddenly feels cold.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT NOT OBJECTING!?" The yell shatters all silence that once existed, but fades again into utter soundlessness. I hold my breath, but stand my ground. If this is the way teachers teach here, I'd rather go to another school.

He grins. "You pass."

Wait, what?

"Everyone else fails, but their behavior was expected anyway."

There are gasps of shock around the room, people yelling at how they were duped, and others scratching their heads at just what kind of test they were put through anyway.

"This relates to the Milgram experiment on obedience to authority figures," Mr. Hatake smiles coyly underneath his mask. "It's the first lesson we're going to cover today, but in short, it's when people do what an authority figures tells them, no matter what. I told you guys not to object to a card trick show even though it was odd, and you guys were too scared to say anything. Those who wanted to say something were afraid to. Of course, this is obviously a simplified, school-appropriate version of the original experiment, but whatever."

"However," he continues while looking straight at me, "this young man had the strength to stand up for what he thought was correct. What is your name?"

"Sasuke," I reply stoically, yet confidently. "Sasuke Uchiha."

I see Naruto stare at me with awe from my peripheral vision, but the moment I so much as glance at him, his expression transforms into a scowl.

* * *

The looks of admiration and hatred should have prepared me for later. By lunchtime, most people already knew my name.

Maybe I should have tried to keep a quiet profile in psychology class (which did turn out to be fairly amusing when the actual lesson began), but even more so in second period math class. Answering that so-called difficult math problem within seconds in front of the class was not a good way to silently blend in. Rumors probably spread of my 'manliness, confidence, good looks, and supreme intelligence' for me to already have people practically bowing down to me. Perhaps Naruto is one of those males who want to come at me with a knife because I've only seen those blades in his eyes when he looks at me, and then I have to sit at some lunch table as people tried to befriend me foolishly.

"Sasuke, right?" some random girl cooed. "Why don't we go somewhere where we can be alone together?"

"Sasuke," another one blushed the color of a rotten tomato, "when I saw you this morning, I rushed home to bake you some cookies. If you come over later, I'll let you have some."

"Hey, Sasuke," a plain boy gulped. "We'd love for you to try out for the basketball team. Why don't you come with me and meet some of my friends?"

Disgusted, I did not even entertain any of these comments like I occasionally would in Japan (what makes these people even think I'm athletic? They haven't seen me in gym class yet). I silently ate, knowing that ignoring them would probably prevent them from coming back.

Physics class with Mr. Umino was better. He prattled on about what we'll be learning for the rest of the term, which was fairly interesting, I suppose. I was never a fan of physics compared to biology, but I suppose it has it's benefits.

But now it's time for gym class, and gym class is sure to be the least annoying part of my school day. I'm not particularly muscular or 'buff,' but I'm strong enough, and I actually enjoy exercising - I used to go for half hour runs everyday after school in Japan. Gym and orchestra are the only nonacademic courses Father will let me take, or rather, force me to take (according to him, a respectable man must be fit and cultured), but I enjoy both anyway. I'm fairly decent at most sports, but my skills in basketball are unrivaled despite only being one hundred and sixty-eight centimeters.

The first thing I notice as I walk into the change room is the horrible, horrible smell. Even though it's only the first day of school, it already smells like road kill, and it takes sheer willpower to hold back my gag reflex from activating.

No one notices me as I quickly find an unoccupied, lone locker in the right corner to stuff my schoolbag inside. Fellow classmates laugh, yell, and shout some incomprehensible, 'gangster' language at each other, and I don't want to be caught in that. I just need to change, lock my school supplies, and enter the gym. That's it.

"Hey, Sasuke!"

A heavy hand grasps my cool, unclothed shoulder. I didn't want to draw anyone's attention, dammit! I shouldn't have expected any less of this guy.

"What do you want, Naruto?" I shut my eyes. If my ears have to burst with the sound of his obnoxious voice, may I at least spare my eyes from his presence.

Suddenly, Naruto removes his hand as quickly as he had clutched it earlier. "Whoa, you have a huge spider on you!"

I snap open my eyes, only to have his disgustingly mischievous grin in my face. Just from that look I _know _there isn't a spider on me. I hate people like this guy.

"Got you!" he chuckles grandly as if spring had suddenly halted a harsh winter. "Man, am I pumped for gym class!"

Pumped? Like pumping gas? What is he talking about? This must be an expression...but I can't let this fool know that I don't understand.

"I thought you were mad at me?" I mutter, returning to dressing myself in gym clothes. I slide my plain, white shirt on and slam the locker closed. "You've done nothing but glare at me all day."

"Oh, you'll see," Naruto snickers. "Mr. Guy does the same thing every year for the first gym class of the term. I'll kick your butt!"

"Whatever," I roll my eyes, heading into the gym without him.

With that I notice that some are grinning at me, probably hoping to talk me into being their friend or even recruiting me into a club or sports team. Others are glaring at me, probably informed of my arrival by that foolish Naruto. They hate me because I'm more skilled than them? Well, they're lucky to have a more balanced lifestyle than me, perhaps. They hate me because their girlfriends are fickle? This should be a hint that they should find more loyal significant others. I didn't seduce a single girl today; in fact, I pushed them all away.

Mere seconds after entering the gym, I'm greeted by a living nightmare. A middle-aged man with a bowl cut in green spandex is standing in the centre of the gym with so much energy that it might just murder me.

"Welcome to gym class!" the teacher's voice booms within the gymnasium. "I am Mr. Might Guy, and I'll be your instructor for the year! Now, I'll get to class expectations, but first, get your butts outside and RUN!"

If this were an anime, I think most of my classmates would have those cartoony sweat drops running down their faces, soon to be turned into real sweat. I don't even have time to take in the huge gym as I sprint outside, not to be outdone by anyone in agility, especially Naruto. I assume Mr. Guy will be taking this opportunity to assess his class for the semester, and I will get one-hundred percent in this course.

The September wind crashes onto my face as I hit the outdoor field. The bleachers are gigantic and almost suffocating, and the field I'm on is clearly a football field - it too is enormous. I don't know how many laps I'm going to have to do, but I'm sure just one will make some drop dead. I'm a good marathon runner and a great sprinter, so I'm sure I can do as many laps Mr. Guy requires. If not, I'll have some practicing to do tonight.

Another possibility is that there is no set number of laps because he wants to assess our endurance. That would be perhaps cruel in the eyes of some, but it's fair in mine. That would also explain why we're running in a football field rather than a place more suitable for track and field - because it's a lot bigger. I suppose this is what Naruto meant when he said he'd 'kick my butt.'

One lap done. Some guys, mostly the out-of-shape ones are already panting on the ground, but most are still running. I'm ahead of everyone by a -

Naruto. He's right behind me.

I suppose he's all brawn and no brain, the idiot behind me. I will NOT let him beat me. I have to pick up my pace. I'll kick up all the dirt and grass in this field if I have to. What is that phrase called...oh, yes.

"Eat my dust," I hiss quietly at Naruto, not caring if he hears me or not.

Suddenly, I see the tiniest speck of blond wisps come into my vision. "It's on."

"RUN! RUN WITH ALL THE YOUTHFUL SPIRIT YOU HAVE!" Mr. Guy's voice bursts like an explosion. I guess I was right about his intentions.

The blond dot gets larger and larger until I realize that Naruto and I are neck-to-neck with each other now. I can see that irritating smile on his face again, but his eyes are burning with determination. If he thinks he can beat me, he is clearly mistaken. He must have been lazing around to have been behind me earlier, and that is bad character.

After fifteen laps of this gigantic field, Naruto and I are the only ones left; the rest of the class dropped out at least five laps ago. I've noticed Mr. Guy's gigantic grin of approval as Naruto and I sprint so fast we leave small clouds behind us. Naruto shows no signs of giving up, and I definitely won't give up either. Just a little more, and I'm sure he'll tire out…

"That's ENOUGH!" the voice booms again. "You've shown us what you can do, boys, and I'm impressed with the strength of your youth! I know you, Naruto, but you," he stares at me, "what is your name?"

Naruto and I both come to a sudden halt. Immediately, the fatigue kicks in, and I can feel my heart rapidly beating, my chest heaving up and down. I will not give Naruto the satisfaction of seeing me sit. It's a good thing that my asthma is only stress-induced and pollutant-induced, otherwise I wouldn't be able to battle him like this.

I glance at the idiot beside me to see him standing in nearly perfect condition. How can he seem not to be even just the least bit worn out? It's like he never even ran, that stupid grin on his face! I swear, he's not even sweating.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha," I say loudly enough for them to hear me, but quietly enough as to not waste anymore energy. I should probably train to improve my endurance so I can _crush _Naruto the next time we battle.

A tanned hand abruptly pops out in front of me, and Naruto is on the other side of it. "Great match, Sasuke! But I bet if we had just run for another minute, I would have beaten you!" he grins, competitiveness dancing in his eyes. I don't want to touch him - that idiot is probably right - but I have enough manners to shake his hand. Nodding, I reach out and give his hand a single shake.

"I swear, I'll annihilate you next time."

"Not a chance!" Passionate resolve returns to Naruto's eyes, enough to nearly make me stop addressing him as a fool constantly. "I'll defeat you with all I have!"

"Boys, you can have your rematch next month," Mr. Guy guffaws loudly, throwing his head back. "Mark down October 7 on your calendars!"

I turn and stare at Naruto straight in his eyes, smirking. "Knowing you for just these few hours, you'll mark the wrong date."

"Hey!" he frowns, but that quickly is replaced with a Naruto-esque grin. "Knowing you for just these few hours, I bet you'll overtrain and collapse during our match!"

"That will never happen," I scowl. "I swear, I'll crush you. That's a promise."

"Oh yeah? Well, I officially declare you my rival, and I'll beat you! That's MY promise, and I never go back on my word," Naruto's determination sets in his face, and I know that I'll need to train for the next month if I truly want to defeat him.

* * *

I am going to admit that challenging Naruto like that thrills me. To have a challenger, a capable challenger, pleases me more than one can imagine. The thought of putting in work to defeat him completely exhilarates me, but I can't train tonight, nor can I read another chapter of _Genji no Monogatari _like I thought I would. I just can't.

After trekking the long journey home, I finally made it home a few hours ago. It was late and already time for dinner, but at least I didn't get any homework today except for an insignificant amount of math, but I finished that in class. I just need to study to upkeep my knowledge and understanding, but I'll be okay if I skip studying for just tonight, right?

I ate a quiet dinner by with Nii-san. Nii-san was too busy packing for Harvard to make a better dinner than macaroni and cheese from a box, but it still tasted okay. He asked me about school, and I told him the truth about my day. He told me just to work hard so I could finish high school, and then he mentioned that Father's flight had been delayed, so he would be home later tonight to greet me.

I really wish Father hadn't come.

When Father got home, he was in a drunken stupor. Father started to drink more heavily when Mom fell into a coma, but...he was never like this. I, unfortunately, was glad to see my Father again and stupidly ventured into his sight before I could smell the alcohol on him. Even stupider, Nii-san had left to pick up some last minute supplies from a store downtown. It was just Father and me in this cold, uninviting house.

The memory is still so fresh in my mind...I can see it happening right now before my eyes. I can feel the pain all over again.

Father...why?

His sweaty hands grabbed me by the shoulders and slammed me against the foyer wall, the force catapulting a picture frame off the wall and shattering the glass. His grip was so tight I thought his fingers might puncture my skin.

"Mistakes are meant to be erased," he hissed at me in Japanese, his face mere millimeters from mine, the stench of vodka filling my nose. All of a sudden, one of his hands left my shoulders and curled into a fist. I knew what was coming, but I couldn't stop it...I just couldn't...Father…

His fist met my face with a _thwack_, and my other cheek hit the wall from the force. My face pulsated with pain, and I am ashamed to say that I screamed from agony. What did I do to deserve this? Father only ever punished me physically if I did something wrong, and he usually used a belt...what did I do for this to happen?

"Don't scream!" he shouted at me, dropping me to the floor like vermin. Glittering glass pierced my hand as I landed hard on the floor, but I bit my lip as to not dare utter a sound.

Father returned to his room afterward, and I sat on the floor in shock for a few minutes. Without thinking, I hastily cleaned up the glass, but before I could treat my injuries, my hands found that picture that had once been in the glass frame. I felt a tear slip down my cheek as the last family picture all of us together, of me, Nii-san, Father, and Mom greeted me. I held onto it and headed to my bedroom, putting it under my pillow before attending to my hand and face. I could already see a light shade of purple appearing on my right cheek, and my hands shrieked in pain as I applied rubbing alcohol to them. I had to use tweezers to try to pry out all the glass that had made my hands their home, but I'm not so sure I got them all.

I can't tell Nii-san about this. There's just no way. He wouldn't have let me come if he knew Father was like this, and I can't distract him from leaving tomorrow by telling him what happened. I can't just move back to Japan either, so this incident will have to be a secret. Father doesn't get drunk often anyway, so this was probably just a one-time incident. I'm sure Father will apologize tomorrow morning, and it will be like this never happened. It's disappointing that this had to be our first meeting after five years, but if I just erase it from my mind, it will be okay. Mistakes are meant to be erased, right? This whole incident was just a mistake, so I'll erase it from my memory.

A knock on my door resounds in the room, making me jump.

"Sasuke? I'm back," Nii-san says. "Are you going to bed already? Father is home, but he is working in his office now, where he doesn't like to be disturbed. I hope you already had the chance to greet him."

"I did," I mumble from my bed. "Good night, Nii-san."

My door opens ajar, letting too bright a light spill in, and Nii-san's face becomes visible.

"Good night, Sasuke."

The door shuts closed.

I toss in my bed under the sheets, wide awake as my cheek pulsates in pain. I remember the last thing Father said to me before he left me alone, or maybe I just thought he said it. I can't be sure anymore, especially since what I heard seems so unlike Father to say, but I definitely heard it in the back of my head, and it was something like…

_Welcome to the nightmare._

* * *

A/N: This chapter was a little long, but that is because it was the first one. I don't know if upcoming chapters will be this long. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this, and hopefully I'll see you again in the next chapter!


	2. lies are meant to be told

A/N: Ugh, this chapter was supposed to go up two days ago (I've scheduled updates for every second Tuesday), but due to unforeseen circumstances, I could only put it up today. Sorry about that! Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I was so happy to receive detailed feedback. Anyway, the NaruSasu needs to develop since this is an AU story, and Sakura might seem slightly OoC, but that is because she and Sasuke have only just met. So, please be patient (we WILL get to the NaruSasu, don't worry) and enjoy!

Sometimes my line breaks show up in the doc manager but don't in the published chapter. I apologize in advance if there is a line break missing. You can usually tell by the extra space between two different scenes that a line space is there but isn't showing up...

* * *

"**But what we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope."**

**- George Eliot**_**  
**_

* * *

He didn't really do that, did he? There's just no way…Father would never hit me. He would punish me if I ever did anything disgraceful like fall from my position at the top of my class, but he would never _hit _me for no obvious reason. He didn't hit me last night. He never would.

That's what I want to tell myself, but the evidence on my face is unmistakable.

No one in this world is honest, but the bathroom mirror doesn't lie. The whorls of violet and crimson on my cheek look like a disease, and there is no denying that what is disfiguring the right side of my face is a massive bruise. There is nothing I can say to convince people it's not (or maybe I'm just bad at thinking of excuses; the last excuses I thought of were that I couldn't remove face paint or that someone had scribbled permanent marker on my face), so my problem now lies in how I'm going to explain this to people, especially Nii-san. I don't want to lie to Nii-san, I can't lie to Nii-san, but...

I might have to.

Looking at the dark mass on my skin makes shivers run throughout my body, and the thought of where I got it from makes me want to vomit. I don't even want to think about it, but just brushing this bruise lightly causes a pang of pain to ring throughout my entire being. The soreness of my hands from all that glass barely even bothers me compared to this pain in my cheek. I don't think I have any gauze big enough to cover this hideous mass of colours, but maybe I could go buy some on the way to school. There is a pharmacy in the university village just by my house, and I have to go through there to get to Konoha Private High School anyway - Konoha is so close to the university that it may as well be on campus. With my cheek covered, I won't have to explain myself to anyone I meet...except for Nii-san.

I could rationalize this whole situation as a nightmare, a brutal, painful nightmare that caused me to punch myself in the face in my sleep. It sounds ridiculous, and it is ridiculous, but the idea of my own father purposely hitting me sounds ridiculous too.

That's why it never happened.

I pop my daily migraine pills in my mouth and give up for now, sliding a bookmark into my copy of _Genji no Monogatari. _I need to skip breakfast and leave for orchestra rehearsal now if I want to be able to get some gauze and still arrive at school on time, and I'm too nauseous for food anyway. I've decided that my excuse to Nii-san is going to be that I fell down the stairs while he was out shopping yesterday, and that is why my face is so badly bruised. It's a poor excuse, but I could never tell him about what Father may or may not have done to me, even if it means having to lie to him. Sighing, I grab my violin case and schoolbag, heading out my room and down the spiraling staircase, preparing to sacrifice the bond of trust between my brother and me.

Nii-san is piling his luggage by the front door when I arrive downstairs. Clothed in a pressed dress shirt and dark pants, he seems ready to leave for the airport already, and he even smells like he has sprayed some expensive cologne on his neck. We're actually dressed similarly, but clothes like this always look more impressive on Nii-san than me. Anyway, upon hearing my footsteps, Nii-san turns to greet me, and I internally wince when I see his eyes momentarily widen larger than I've seen them in years.

"What happened, Sasuke?" he asks, vaguely shocked, but concerned as he examines my face with the care of a physician. "This is quite the bruise."

Nii-san is usually a very expressionless man, but I can see in his eyes that he practically transforms into a doting mother whenever something happens, good or bad, to me. He takes on this certain expression of gentleness that is difficult to describe, but it has a genuine warmth that I never see when he speaks to others except for maybe Mom. This man, my older brother...I cannot lie to him. It would be breaking one of those few, rare gossamer bonds most people are lucky to ever have even once in their lives. Even so, I have no choice. I don't want Nii-san to think badly of Father, and I want him to be able to leave for Harvard without worries. I have to do this because his life and well-being are...important to me.

"I fell down the stairs last night while you were gone shopping," I try to break a small smile, but it's hopeless. "I'm fine now, so don't worry about me, Nii-san."

Nii-san continues to examine my face while I remain broken by what I've just done. There is nothing else I can do but hope that I never have to lie to him again, but when you lie even just once, you inevitably have to lie again to cover up the old untruths.

"I have gauze in my bag large enough to cover this. Let me get it for you." Nii-san's words break me from my thoughts. He's being so nice to me, unaware that I'm lying so much to him. I don't deserve his help, even if I'm lying to him to protect the both of us. Or maybe I just think that what might have happened last night is the truth...and the shock from falling down the stairs last night altered my memories. That is something I could believe.

Suddenly, Nii-san is plastering a giant, white strip of gauze to my injured cheek, causing me to wince from the sudden, sharp pain. Not only is it physically agonizing, but the way he applies it with such care, such precision...

"By the way, what happened to the photo frame that was on the wall here?" he inquires carefully as he applies the dressing to my face. "Was there not one here with a picture of the four of us before the accident?"

I freeze. Quickly, Sasuke, think of an explanation...

"When I fell down the stairs, I hit the wall, and the picture frame fell off the wall and broke," I grimace. I guess the best lies have the truth mixed in them. I was also right about having to lie again.

Nii-san stops. "What? Are you sure you are all right? Did you receive any lacerations from the glass, or are there perhaps shards of glass stuck in your skin?"

I shake my head gently. "I removed any glass that got stuck in my hands. It's okay now, Nii-san."

"If you are sure...That should do it, Sasuke," he smiles lightly, patting my cheek to check the gauze is secured. "Be careful on your way to school, and take extra gauze with you so you can change the dressing at a convenient time." He swiftly hands me a small pack of the surgical dressing. "I will see you after school before I leave for the airport."

I nod and quickly grab a meal bar from the kitchen before heading out the door. "Thanks, Nii-san. _Ittekimasu_."

"_Itterasshai."_

I keep my head down, too ashamed to show my face to the world, as I head down the street and through the university village. I break into a run as if the wind could blow all my sins away, but it's obviously futile. Running away is weak, but that's what I'm going to do anyway. I can't take this anymore.

I'm truly despicable.

* * *

For the first time, I have orchestra rehearsal this morning with Ms. Kurenai in the music room. We're roughly playing through several pieces today so she can have a better understanding of this ensemble's playing level, which will also help her assign section leaders. To my misfortune, my stand partner is Sakura. I can see her shuffling awkwardly beside me as she gawks at my face, or, more accurately, the huge pad of gauze on my cheek, and though I put up with it for a few minutes, I've had enough.

"Is there a problem?" I narrow my eyes.

Sakura's face starts to match her hair colour, and after murmuring a word of apology, she gains the courage to stare me in the eyes. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

Isn't it obvious? It's not like I go around wearing gauze because it's in fashion. Regardless of the truth, I look away from her and briefly reply that nothing happened; I just fell down the stairs. It's important to keep one's lies in order, after all. I see that she doesn't quite believe me, but I ignore her, instead sliding my violin out of its case with care as I gently pull out the chin rest, attaching it to my violin. I love my violin. It's one of the only things that can help me relax, and that's exactly what I need right now. Mom gave me this violin when I turned ten with the promise that I would grow into it, which I did. It was her violin ever since she was fifteen, and she passed it on to me, and that's probably why I truly love this violin so much; it may be old, but it plays some of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard. I mean, I've tried out other violins before, but none of them ever sounded the same. After quickly tuning, I hold up my violin with my tightened bow at the ready; we're allowed to warm up before Ms. Kurenai starts rehearsal.

My bow hits the strings, and I'm immediately wrapped in a melody that encircles me with this strange, vaguely familiar feeling I can't quite understand. My arm moves on its own as the soloist lines from the first movement of Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E Minor escape from my violin so freely, like birds taking flight. The fingerings, the shifts, they all come to me so naturally, like this is something I'm meant to do. It strangely puts me at such ease, yet my hands possess a passionate fury that makes my bow ferociously attack the poor strings. However, as my heart beats faster, I suppose playing this also produces serotonin; it just makes me...happy. There are few things that provide me with the same ability to run away from the world like this, and sometimes I wonder if desperately holding onto this escape route so much is weak.

When the piece is done and I put my violin into rest position on my thigh, there is a strange silence. Ms. Kurenai's hazel eyes are piercing right into me with a strange look of wonder and amazement. With a sigh, as if she has finally decided on something, she smiles at me.

"You," she emphasizes, "are officially the concert master in Konoha Private High School's Master Orchestra. Not many people your age can play the soloist section of that piece as perfectly as you, and it would be a shame if someone as talented as you didn't both represent your section and assist the rest of the orchestra."

And with that, she turns away to flip through some music scores before starting rehearsal, not even giving me a chance to say anything, and I notice that most of my classmates are staring at me in awe. I feel a poke in my side.

"You're really amazing at violin!" Sakura's porcelain face smiles at me shyly, her eyes directly avoiding the cover on my face. "What training have you had?"

"I took violin for twelve years when I lived in Japan," I reply cooly.

Sakura's eyes widen. "That's so cool! I wish I could play as well as you, but I've only been playing for three years. In fact, after today, I probably won't be your stand partner anymore, let alone in the same section as you, since I'm nowhere near your level. I'll have to try harder to catch up with you!"

I give a fragment of a smile politely, and then Ms. Kurenai calls for our attention. Turning, I face the front of the room and prepare to tune with the class, but Sakura nudges me again.

"Do you want to come to my house after school? I don't really understand some of what we talked about in psychology yesterday, and I was hoping maybe you could help me. You can stay for dinner too."

Without looking directly at her, I nod yes. I'm so tempted to tell her no; I know she probably wants me to go to her house just because she likes me - how can someone not understand one day's worth of material? - but I might as well try to study the information in a way different from normal, and I may as well also network with her; she could become someone useful to know someday. As long as I don't stay for very long, since I want to see Nii-san before he leaves for university, it's only a small hindrance.

Immediately after rehearsal (and of course, Sakura was right; she's now in the second violin section while I'm the concert master), after leaving my violin in my locker, I quickly move on to psychology class without waiting for her. Psychology is one of the courses I find more interesting, but also one of the courses I hate the most. Already I've heard curious whispers through this classroom about the huge piece of gauze on my face, and I've only been sitting in this room for two minutes. I'm sure the rumors will spread to the entire school by lunchtime, which will result in hoards of people asking me what happened to my face. I bet that at any second, a specific someone is going to shout in my ear asking-

"Woah! What happened to your face, Sasuke?" Naruto jumps back as soon as his eyes, those sapphire eyes wide in shock, land on my face. "That's a massive thing on your face!"

...I hate dishonesty, but I suppose I should keep my lies in check.

I stare at him coolly. "I fell down the stairs last night."

"Wow! Are you okay?" he questions me. "Did you go to the hospital? My grandma's a doctor!"

"It's fine," I nod, faking confidence. "I had a lot to do last night, so I didn't have time to go to the hospital. I'm okay besides this, so don't concern yourself with it."

The blond shrugs, but there are remnants of worry present in his eyes as he takes his seat in front of me. It's not much of my concern anyway; it's not like I care about this idiot or anything. As I think this, I notice that both Ino and Sakura look at my face curiously before taking their respective seats behind me and to my right, but they don't say anything. It's a good thing Nii-san gave me the gauze, otherwise their reactions would probably be much worse, though they still keep glancing at me as if doing that could somehow give them x-ray vision to see what is wrong with my cheek. That said cheek admittedly still aches from falling down the stairs, but it's more manageable now.

I see Sakura's mouth opening and abruptly closing, almost as if she's trying to say something to me, but, much to my approval, class actually starts on time, which prevents Sakura from talking to me. Taking my mind off my classmates, I concentrate fully on the lesson, printing my notes neatly in my binder. Freud was definitely an interesting psychoanalyst, but his work was too culturally and sexually biased to be as applicable today as it was in his time. I'm more of a fan of Carl Jung's work, but that's besides the point.

As the bell rings to tell students to haul their bags to their second period class, some of my classmates file out of the classroom neatly, and some, including Naruto (who even yells out to me that he can't wait up for me to go to math together becomes he 'needs to pee'), run out like savages. I pride myself in being part of the former group, but just as I'm about to stride toward the door, I notice a single sheet of lined paper fluttering to the ground beside Naruto's desk. I lean over and collect it from the filth on the floor out of curiosity, only to be astonished by what I see.

It's a hand drawn image of an Asian teenager holding a seashell to his cheek, the same cheek that I have that bruise on, and the wind is swirling around him as if blowing all his troubles away. The boy is handsome with dark hair, peaceful eyes, and a small curve to his mouth that can barely be called a smile, but is definitely one in spite of that.

I could almost swear that that boy is me.

Did Naruto draw this? Since when is he such an artist? There's a certain aestheticism to the piece, something calming and wonderful, but it makes me somewhat angry. He didn't even ask me if I wanted my portrait done, and isn't is sort of weird to draw pictures of one's friends like this? Even so, I will admit that he draws well. There isn't anything awkward or difficult to understand in this drawing after ignoring the fact that the boy in the picture is me. It just...looks so real.

I slip it into my backpack and walk out of class.

* * *

I thought this might happen. I've already had people ask me if I take part in street fights and then beg to fight me, inquire if I got hit by a drunken hobo, and even worse (people are stupid), if I'm a superhero and whatever is under this gauze is the mark of my power (I hope these people were kidding). I'm serious. It's horribly dumb, but I actually expected it.

Anyway, I didn't have time to pack a lunch today, and even with that meal bar I had for breakfast, I'm starving. I also didn't bring money with me to buy a lunch. Sitting alone in a bathroom stall (the only place where no one will bother me) doing math homework is the only thing I can do right now that is rather productive. The stall is a navy blue, or at least it once was; the paint job has been scratched by people writing foolish messages on the walls. Why they would want to in this rank-smelling bathroom, I have no clue.

Wait. Nii-san gave me extra gauze so I could change it at a convenient time, presumably lunch. If I had to lie to him, the least I could do is do what he suggested to me to show that I listen to his advice. Sighing, I slide my math textbook into my black shoulder bag and exit the stall. The slimy mirror greets me maliciously, the pale figure inside it mocking my every fibre with that ridiculous gauze on his face. He puts his hand to the gauze and relentlessly peels it off.

It's horrible. The awful shades of scarlet are now mingling with indigo mixed with violet, emphasized by the pale skin surrounding them. It looks like a disease is destroying the mask I show to the world and revealing the horrible sins inside me, my true self. I'm comparable to Quasimodo. I better redress this quickly before someone sees me like this, oh, but of course, I have the worst luck. The wooden bathroom door creaks open before I can do anything to hide my face.

"Sasuke? Sasuke, are you in here?"

...This is even worse. Fortune is not on my side, it seems.

That yellow blob of sunshine bursts into the room, and upon seeing me, his face contorts into a mix of surprise and what I perceive as disgust.

"Are you sure you don't want my grandma to take a look at that?" Naruto asks, for once somewhat quieted. "It looks really bad."

Sure enough, my reflection is just as filthy as the grimy mirror it's in. The bruise is so dark it almost looks like frostbite, and since removing the dressing, the pain has heightened. The red adorning the darkness looks like the core of all evil, and it disgusts me. I look and feel disgusting, yet, I shake my head. "I don't need your grandmother to look at it. I'm fine."

"You're such an idiot, Sasuke," Naruto crosses his arms, frustration set in his face. "I'm just trying to help you! What if it's so bad that you die or something?"

The fool prattles on about how I could get it seen quickly and for free (which is stupid since Canada has free health care anyway), but none of that reaches my ears. Did he just have the nerve to call me, _me_, an idiot? That imbecile? How _dare_ he?

I'm livid. Absolutely livid.

I wouldn't dare make a scene, especially at school, so I grab the dressing from my pocket and rip the package open, mechanically placing the stupid, stupid mesh on my horrible face while ignoring that fool beside me, as well as the heightened pain in my face. Satisfied, I simply walk out of the bathroom, my ears burning from my fury.

"Wait, where are you going?" that guy shouts from behind me, but I don't dawdle. I'm already gone down the staircase by the time he even makes it out from the bathroom, I bet. No one _ever _insults me. I normally wouldn't even be reacting so badly to such a silly comment from an idiot like that, but I'm just so frustrated and _confused _right now that I can't take anything anymore from him, from anyone today. I wish people would just leave me alone and stop insulting me.

Unless...Naruto is right.

I can hardly afford to be stupid, but falling down the stairs and injuring my face like this was rather idiotic. Still, clumsiness is not synonymous with intelligence level, so I shouldn't even bother with an ignoramus like Naruto. I understand that what he tried to do what a nice, polite gesture on his part, but I don't need help from someone like him.

Besides...a doctor might be able to tell that this bruise isn't from a fall.

I have an urge to shred that drawing, but something inside me barely manages to stop my heart.

* * *

My suspicions from yesterday have been confirmed; Naruto is not well-liked at Konoha Private High School. After seeing Sakura and Ino get so angry at him in psychology class yesterday, I knew that there was a chance that he was ostracized by his classmates, but I saw something today that verified it.

I arrived after Naruto to the change room today, and I could see him changing alone in the corner where I changed yesterday. Some of the brutes in there were glancing at him and snickering, pointing at him and whispering presumably comedic, yet cruel things in the ears of their friends. Based on Naruto's unclothed body, they probably don't mock him to his face because he could crush them in seconds. Indeed, Naruto is muscular. Not disgustingly buff, but well defined, and he has a good amount of muscle tone. In combination with his sought-after blond hair and cerulean eyes, I'm surprised he's not more popular than he is now. People are usually foolish enough to base people off their looks, and I don't think Naruto would be considered ugly by many; he's more on the good-looking side. His personality must be really irritating to more people than just me for people to hate him like this.

I hate him too, but at least I don't mock him behind his back.

When the idiot turned around and our eyes met, I was shocked by the emotion in his eyes during that split second people take to recognize who is in front of them. His eyes, those bright blue eyes, matched the color of his utter sorrow and sadness. Maybe he's not as stupid as I thought he was if, presumably, he was depressed about his outcast status, because then he is intelligent to realize his position in this school.

"Why did you leave me at lunch?" He pouted, some vibrancy returning to his eyes as soon as he recognized me. "I was just trying to help you, and I wanted to eat together! I figured you might need some friends since you're new here."

He was lying. He just wanted a friend for himself.

"You're an insensitive blockhead," I rolled my eyes, swiftly changing into my gym clothes. "You don't just call someone an idiot because they don't want to do what you want them to do."

Realization (or false realization, as I know now) clicked in Naruto's eyes, and he widened his eyes in embarrassment. "Crap, you're Japanese, right? I forgot that your culture is a lot more polite and stuff...I just treated you like anyone else, where we say things like that without really meaning it. I'm...sorry, ya know?"

That wasn't the reason the insult pissed me off, but I wasn't in the mood for this, and I didn't feel like explaining the truth. I decided to have mercy on him and let it slide.

"It's fine."

Naruto's eyes lit up with those words, and suddenly, all the previous sorrow in them disappeared. The biggest grin, even larger than usual, took up half his face. He winked. "Let's go! I'll beat you to the court! We're playing basketball today, and I swear, I'll beat you so bad, you'll just look like a piece of crap compared to me!"

That idiot.

He didn't comment on the bruise again, but whenever I looked at him during our warmups, all I saw was sadness in his eyes. I suppose that bothered me a little bit, because I'm still thinking about it now that I'm walking after school with Sakura to her house.

"Do you speak Japanese, Sakura?" I ask. Apparently her house is only two minutes from school, so it shouldn't be a problem for me to go there and then straight home so I can say goodbye to my brother.

"_Hai_," she smiles bashfully, still avoiding my face, and continues in Japanese, "but I'm not very good at it. My dad is Japanese and my mom American, so to make it easier for my mom, we just speak English at home. I only speak Japanese if I'm alone with my dad."

"Your Japanese is fine," I reply honestly in my native tongue, relieved to be using it again - it's a bit nerve wracking to speak English all day. "Do you mind if I talk to you in Japanese?"

"Sure! I need the practice so my dad doesn't lecture me, anyway," Sakura grins nervously. "What should we talk about? Why don't we introduce ourselves formally?"

"I suppose so," I nod. Even if it is what she intends, Sakura at least isn't obviously trying to make me fall in love with her. I guess that makes her a bit less annoying. I take a deep breath. "I'm Uchiha Sasuke, and I'm from Tokyo, Japan. I don't like many things, so listing my dislikes would be pointless. That's it."

Sakura seems taken back slightly, but then grins prettily. "It's nice to meet you, _Uchiha-kun_. I'm Haruno Sakura, and I've lived here in Vancouver my whole life. I'm sixteen and was born on March twenty-eighth, and I'm also fluent in English and I guess Japanese. I hope we can be friends."

Friends, huh? Friends will just get in my way...I know school forces me to talk to people, but I'd rather do as little of that as possible. I need to time to study so I can achieve my goals.

"I want to be a doctor when I'm older," she says as he tucks her cherry blossom coloured hair behind her ears, "so I can save people's lives. That's why you saw me during my last shift at the hospital a couple of days ago. I was doing my last day of summer co-op. I mostly did paper work and stuff, but I did get to see a few patients with my supervisor..."

I ignore the comment about the hospital completely. "Perhaps you really will become a doctor someday if you study enough."

"What do you want to do with your life, Uchiha-kun?" she gazes at me honestly.

...I'll do what my father tells me to do. I need to be a backup heir to the company, so I guess anything related to business or economics is fine as long as I know how to run a business and handle money.

"I'll probably become a financial advisor," I keep my gaze forward.

"Oh? That's what you want to do?" Sakura looks a little bit surprised, and a light shade of pink touches her white cheeks. "Well, you're the type that seems likely to succeed at anything, but I just thought maybe you would go into music or even science, you know, since you're so talented at music and are also taking so many science courses. Oh, this is my house!"

The girl, who only comes up to my shoulders, points at the house on our left. It's a rather ordinary, though not ugly, home with a beige surface and tiled, navy roof, and a black Subaru sits in the lane way. The scent of fresh chrysanthemums from the front lawn invades my senses.

"Make yourself at home," Sakura tells me as she unlocks the front door, letting me enter first.

The house is just as ordinary looking as the outside. The walls are tan, and the floors are all hardwood, leaving only a mahogany rug at the entrance. The living room is directly on my right, and an unadorned hallway sits to my left.

"We can work in the kitchen," she mentions as she slips off her shoes. I follow suit and leave my violin case beside my own dress shoes.

The kitchen, just as modest as the rest of the house, is straight ahead from the entrance. The everyday wooden table is soon holding up the little psychology work we have - we only just finished the second day of school - but before we start, I need to ask her two things.

I stare straight at her. "Why is your hair pink?"

Sakura's eyes widen momentarily, and then she giggles sheepishly as her cheeks glow with embarrassment. "I, um, lost a bet with Ino over the summer, so I had to dye my hair pink. I'm starting to think that this is a good colour for me though!"

I'm not interested in what that bet was, so, satisfied, I move on to the second question. "Why does everyone hate Naruto so much?"

Sakura seems slightly taken aback by my inquiry, and she is silent for a few moments. She eventually answers me, though clearly choosing her words carefully. "He's weird. He's really in your face and too upbeat, and I heard he once wanted to be friends with one person and stalked them until that person had to move away. Some also make fun of him for being gay, though we don't really know if he is gay or not; they probably say that because he takes art. I mean, people have hated him for so long that it's just a taboo thing to like him now, even if you don't have anything against him. I mean, he is so loud and...stupid, though I don't have anything against him, _Sasuke-kun_!"

He is too upbeat. He invades my personal space. He is weird, and he is an idiot. His sexual orientation is of no concern to me, and besides, his art really is well done. With male artists like Picasso and Michelangelo so utterly admired, why are people complaining about Naruto being an artist? It's ignorant and foolish. Nobody makes fun of Leonardo Da Vinci for being gay whether he was or not.

It's stupid to not be allowed to befriend someone just because no one likes that person, and, furthermore, don't dare try to be affectionate with me to prevent me from getting mad at you. It turns you into the fool.

"Why did you yell at him yesterday then?" I press. "You said you have nothing against him."

"Well, no one likes him!" she tries to reason, but her cheeks are flaming. "If I hung out with him, nobody would like me either. I'm on student council and on a ton of sports teams; I have to keep up my reputation."

A sudden flame bursts inside me, but I can't quite understand why. I'm just filled with this ugly, repulsive anger I can barely control, and it's unsightly. Maybe it's because this has shown me that women are cruel creatures, but...I'm done.

"Clearly you have no honor," I spit as I abruptly pack up my psychology papers and storm out of the kitchen, "if you ignore someone just because no one else likes him. Have you ever talked to him? For all you know, he could be the greatest friend you could ever have."

"Wait!" I hear Sakura cry behind me, but it's too late. I'm out the door, peeved, but on my way home. I'm horrified by what I've just done, but I'm also in too much of a rage to care.

But why, _why _would I stand up for that dunce?

Maybe because I'm one too.

* * *

I really hate myself.

I screwed up the only thing near friendship I had. Well, she was a cold-hearted witch anyway, so it wasn't a relationship worth cultivating, but I could have held onto it longer until I found some smarter people to associate with at least for the time being. I don't need friends though. They're a waste of time and are distracting from my studies. I'll eventually leave them anyway, so why bother even meeting them in the first place?

But now I'm standing at my front door, and I see my father's Ferrari parked in the lane way. Remember, Sasuke! What you think happened never actually happened. You only fell down the stairs last night. Don't think about things that didn't happen.

"Oh, whatever," I mumble under my breath and twist the doorknob. There's nothing I can do, and I don't know how long Father will be here before he travels back to New York. Besides, Nii-san is home; I'd be surprised if Father tried to hurt me with his prized eldest son in the same house.

I enter the house, and the main floor is dead silent. I stealthily creep up the stairs and, checking that the coast is clear, slide into my bedroom. Sighing with relief, I slip Naruto's drawing underneath my mattress. There is no reason for anyone to ever look under there. It's safe. Just as I'm about to look for Nii-san, I notice a small note taped onto the back of my door, and I recognize the handwriting on it to be Nii-san's. I quickly rip it off the door and scan it.

_Little brother,_

_I am sorry that I had to leave for Harvard before we could say goodbye, but my flight tonight was canceled, so I had to take an earlier flight instead. Rest assured that I will call you when I make it into my apartment tonight, and I'll try to visit you more often than when you were in Japan. I made sure to buy you a Western cellphone with the plan devised so that we can call each other for free, and I left it for you downstairs in the kitchen. Remember that we get the house cleaned and groceries delivered once a week, so you don't need to worry about those things. _

_Regards,_

_Itachi_

I set the note down and collapse on my bed. I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye! I barely even got to spend time with him before he left...and he probably left while I was in classes, so not taking that detour on the way home wouldn't have made a difference.

I cannot waste time on my sorrow. It's time for homework.

I work for hours upon hours, my stomach eventually becoming a fireball burning from hunger. I've barely eaten anything all day, and I'm craving dinner more than ever, but I don't dare leave my bedroom; I need to study. When I exhaust all possible homework and studying possible, I pick up _Genji no Monogatari _and pick up from where I left off. I've read this novel countless times; it's the first present I ever received, and it's also from Mom.

I can't read when I'm this hungry though.

A decision must be made. To sneak out of my bedroom and search for food, or stay in here and suffer?

It's only Father. He didn't do anything to me. It should be okay to find food. I don't need Nii-san to protect me.

Creaking the door open, I turn my head both ways to make sure Father isn't nearby. I practically tiptoe down the staircase, and I can already see the kitchen in front of me. The fridge is there, a gleaming treasure chest full of wonders. My stomach is leaping with joy. My hand, still slightly sore from last night, pulls open the shining fridge handle, and before my lies a pile of treasure. There is no time to dawdle, however, and I quickly grab miso ramen cup noodles. I just need to microwave them for three minutes and that is it.

I shouldn't be acting like this. If nothing happened, then I don't need to worry about anything.

I pop the noodles into the microwave and set the microwave to three minutes. Everything is fine. Everything is okay. I prop myself up onto the marble kitchen counter and wait...

But then a presence, a horrifying presence, sends shivers down my spine. I can't see who it is nearby, but I know who it is, and I already regret having left my bedroom.

Father marches into the kitchen in his traditional men's kimono, and he halts when he sees me. I don't really see myself in him; his skin is rather tanned compare to my pale complexion, and the shape of his face is just so different from mine that sometimes I wonder if I really am related to him. I look a lot like Mom, and Nii-san definitely received some of his features from Father.

I wonder if he sees Mom when he sees me.

"Sasuke," Father's words pierce my body with their coldness. "During your stay here, I expect you to work hard like an Uchiha. I expect a one-hundred percent average just like all other Uchihas. I expect you to look like an Uchiha and act like an Uchiha. I expect nothing less from my son, and I will make sure you do not provide me with less than that. Is that clear?"

An ice-cold feeling freezes my body, yet triples my heart rate. I frigidly manage to nod and utter two single words. "Yes, sir."

See, it's all okay. We had a normal conversation like any other father and son just now! In fact, he called me his son...he acknowledges me. He has standards because he knows I can meet them. In a way...I'm kind of happy. I was worried that maybe I had done something awful, which was why he did what he did last night.

"It's...good to have you back."

Father leaves after that, and I stand there, stunned. This was his was of apologizing, wasn't it? Everything is going to be okay. Yesterday was just a mistake. There's no need to dwell on this anymore. It's done. Satisfied, I grab my noodles and run to my room. I suppose I'm happy, even if in a tiny way.

But I still have this strange feeling I can't shake off.

_Ring, ring!_

The phone downstairs jingles from afar. Is it Nii-san? I jump from my desk and rush downstairs, nearly stumbling from my haste. I forgot to take my cellphone, let alone look for it, when I was downstairs last, and talking to Nii-san usually calms me down. I really wanted to see him one last time today, but talking to him should suffice, I suppose. I dash to the marble kitchen counter and grab the phone, which I notice is an iPhone 4S, pressing the talk button.

"Hello? Nii-san?" I greet my brother breathlessly.

"Sasuke," Nii-san's voice smiles. "I am sorry we were not able to say our goodbyes earlier today. How are you?"

I fake confidence while gathering courage. "I'm just fine, thanks. School has been fairly easy to integrate into. How are you?"

"I am well, though tired. I have a few days until classes start, but as a fourth-year student, I need to start preparing my thesis, so I need to rest. However, I thought I would let you know that I have landed safely," Nii-san replies exhaustedly. "I will call you again soon though, and perhaps we can talk in more detail then."

"Okay." My heart sinks a little; I was hoping we could talk longer, even though there isn't really anything for me to tell him. "Good night, Nii-san."

"Good night, Sasuke."

The dial tone beeps inside my ear, echoing within the recesses of my mind for eons, and I cannot help but just stand still with the phone pressed against my ear.

Nii-san really is...gone. Mom isn't here either. It's just me…

Just me and Father.

* * *

A/N: This chapter, after editing it, actually doubled in length! I have about 60,000 words of this story typed out, but that is also only eight and a half chapters of about thirty...I hope this story doesn't become too much of a chore to read and that you can enjoy it. I also recommend that you listen to Mendelsson's Violin Concerto in E Minor because it really is an awesome piece. Anyway, thanks for reading, and until next chapter!


	3. nobody is meant to be trusted

A/N: Before I say anything else, I apologize. This chapter is up late - _much _later than I wanted it to be. A lot of things have happened since the last chapter that made me unable to update. A full explanation is on my Tumblr blog, if you're interested.

This chapter more than quadrupled in length after the first draft, so hopefully it was worth the wait. Some characters _seem_ a bit OoC in this chapter, but it's due to things that won't be revealed until next chapter (keep in mind that this story is written in first-person, not third; that means the narrator is only presenting a subjective reality rather than an objective one). Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter, and please enjoy this one! It's because of you that I still am motivated to work on this story.

* * *

"**We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal."**

**- Tennessee Williams  
**

* * *

Sirens, distant as faraway screams, probe at my consciousness, grow louder and louder, wail until my dreamless sleep breaks. No, I don't want to open my eyes...I have a headache...Can you turn up the heat, Mom? And why is my bed so hard? It's wet too...

...This isn't my bed.

My eyes snap open, only to be greeted by a myriad of flashing reds and blues that momentarily blind me. Blinking the lights away, I finally notice that I'm lying on my stomach, my face pressed against the ground, in the middle of...a road? It's so wet...it must be raining. That would explain why I'm so cold. Why am I even lying here? My head is pounding; it wants to split open, but I can't even move. Everything aches...no...wait, what? Why? What happened? This wetness isn't just rain...the colour...it's…

Red.

Two ambulances screech to a stop in front of me, and four paramedics run out, two of them toward a car flipped over nearby. The image blurs, and I hear someone tell me that everything will be okay, but their voice, just the tone makes me unsure that what they're saying is the truth. Wait, is that my family's car? Wait...Mom? Where's Mom? I try to sit up, but a volcano erupts in my head and the image in front of me fades in and out of focus until I collapse back on the ground, I hear people shouting, holding me down, but, no, what happened, why am I here, my head is about to explode, stop the ringing in my head, where is Mom? I need to find her! Mom?

"MOM!"

I gasp for breath, and suddenly, I notice that the setting has somehow shifted from the rainy streets of Ikebukuro to my bedroom in Canada.

Calm down, Sasuke. Just breathe. Don't give yourself an asthma attack. It was just a nightmare. That likely isn't even how it happened. The details of the accident are so blurry that you've made up false memories just to picture it.

Just relax. Breathe. Think of something else. Stop torturing yourself. It'll only give you more nightmares.

Nightmares.

_Father. _

I shake my head and slam my hand on my alarm clock, which I just noticed is responsible for the ringing sound I heard in my nightmare. Sighing, I swing my legs over the bed, then rub my eyes of sleep as I head to the bathroom. I'm home alone again today, just like I've been everyday since Father left last week for another business trip. I've had some time to think about everything, and this is how I've decided to perceive the situation.

Father was not drunk the night we spoke in the kitchen. He was levelheaded, and though he didn't apologize about what happened, I do think he was sorry. Father is too proud a man to admit any faults, but I can tell that he wasn't himself when he did what he did to me that night, and he knew it too. He did say he was happy to have me back home, after all. I think that was the closest to an apology he was able to give me, and of course I forgive my own father. He was himself when he restated the expectations he has for me as his child, _his _child_, _and he will do his best to make sure I am meeting the Uchiha standard. That's all. I just need to make sure I keep the family name unmarred to make him proud. He must have been drunk for him to even think about being violent back then, and obviously this is just going to be a secret. It won't happen again. Father wouldn't do something like that.

I brace myself for the icy bathroom tiles as I step into the sterile bathroom. Goosebumps run up and down my leg as the cold shoots through my feet, but I shut the door behind me with only a shudder. Anyway, it's my job to forget about what happened that night and make sure I am meeting the standard Father set. My intelligence is passable - I just need to continue to be perfect in all school subjects, no matter how many hours of studying it takes me. There is no reason to make any mistakes as long as I understand the material. I mean, Nii-san had perfect marks in all his high school courses back in Japan where the education system was more difficult, and he was even the student council president too. There's no reason why I can't reach the same level as Nii-san. I also need to be a respectable person worthy of the Uchiha name. I've prevented myself from getting into any real confrontations at school, I've remained as polite as deserved, and I've made sure to avoid friendships - that would just distract me from more important goals. I'm also cultured by being bilingual and a musician, so I think I can establish that both my actions and my intelligence are up to par. Now, do I look like an Uchiha?

My reflection in the mirror is unsure.

I splash ice-cold water on my face, dampening my bangs in the process, and stare at the person beyond the glass. I didn't spike my hair up yet this morning, and my skin is a sickly white. The whorl of yellow-purple remains on my cheek and, though fading, still looks disgusting. I look like a mess. I _am _a mess.

What can I do?

As I brush my teeth, I contemplate this. I should take care better care of myself. I've been eating terrible food while establishing my new life here in Vancouver, so I should start cooking my own meals again - it was something I had to learn for myself after the accident. Besides that, I should continue to spike up my hair, exercise, and just wait for this bruise to go away. But even if I do that, I won't be good enough. There are still too many imperfections. I'm not a respectable, intelligent person at all. I lied to my brother. I walked out on Sakura. Even Naruto called me an idiot.

I spit into the sink and rinse my mouth, only taking a few seconds thereafter to spike up my hair before exiting the bathroom. I quickly throw on black pants and a white shirt, grab my school bag and violin, and head for the hospital. I have no time for breakfast if I want to see Mom before school starts, which I suppose means I've already ruined my plan of trying to be healthier, but I don't suppose I need the extra calories anyway.

After marching out the front door, I cross the street and breeze straight into the university village. The ocean winds aren't as cold as I expected - the sun is strong today - and the trees are only just beginning to change colours. I am careful to avoid the hoards of university students just exiting the bus as well, though they don't pay me the same respect. This area is always busy, even at this time, with both university students going to and from the bus station and athletes running alongside their dogs. There is a park nearby with several small shops and apartments around, so this is a popular area. It vaguely reminds me of the quieter parts of Shinjuku, except that Shinjuku is noticeably more modern compared to the outdated architecture here.

A few blocks ahead amidst the traffic and construction, the rather unpleasant, familiar hospital is finally in front of me. Entering the hospital here is always such a hassle, but I can't do anything about it anyway. Sighing, I ignore the construction workers and the consistent beeping of a truck backing up, then swiftly enter the miserable building.

A multitude of noises - gurneys screeching, people crying, a TV blaring - attack me all at once, but I pay no attention to them nor the nurses. It takes little time for me to reach the empty hallway where Mom is just ahead.

Just ignore the pungent smell of antiseptic, the flickering of fluorescent lights above. There is only one person you need to see right now, and nothing else matters.

I slide open a doorway and am greeted by a beautiful, yet nauseating sight.

Mom is as peaceful as ever, sleeping comfortably in her bed. She seems just fine at first, but when I see all the wires and machines hooked up to her, I have to stop myself from regurgitating. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I'd gladly take Mom's place any day; Nii-san and Father need Mom much more than they could ever need me anyway.

"Mom," I whisper as I take a seat on the stool by her bed. I clasp her hand - it's not as soft as I remember from my childhood - and rest my head on her bed. I take a deep breath. "How are you? I'm well. School has been fine so far. I've been doing well in all my subjects. I'm the concert master in the Master Orchestra at school. Practice started last week ago, and while some of the music is below my playing level, it's still...fun."

It's all true. I haven't spoken to Sakura since the incident at her house, and she hasn't had the courage to even look at me. Naruto has been rather subdued lately too, and though he always smiles around me, I can see in his eyes that something is wrong. Either there was something wrong with him when we first met, or there's something wrong with him now, because he is definitely not the same person I met last week. He's a chameleon, always changing colors, and I no longer know who he even is. Outside of him, orchestra has been fairly amusing for a school activity; even if most of the music is too easy for me, I still enjoy playing.

"Nii-san is probably at the top of all his classes at Harvard," I say. "Father...is very busy. I'm sure he's well too though. He has very high expectations for me, and that must be a good thing. It means he thinks I can do great things."

It isn't as strange to talk to her like this anymore. There is something special about both her and Nii-san that makes me feel...different than when I'm with others.

"Come back soon." I squeeze Mom's hand. I swear I can see her mouth curve upward by a few degrees, but it could just be my eyes tricking me. I know the chances of her ever opening her eyes again are slim, but I guess somewhere inside me there is still hope. People do wake up from long comas, even if not often, and some even experience full recoveries. Mom could be one of those people. It's stupid, but I feel like all the uncertainty and sadness would go away if she would just wake up.

We could be a happy family again.

* * *

I manage to make it to school early for psychology class. I can feel my stomach gurgling, but it'll have to wait for lunchtime. I can't leave class now, and seeing Mom this morning was more important than eating breakfast. I just need to focus on my work, and everything will be okay. Getting good grades is supposed to be something I'm skilled at. It's a bit difficult to ignore Ino when she is constantly trying to hug me, like right now - it's completely irritating, actually - but besides that, my focus is in good condition.

"Don't you want to go somewhere after school just the two of us, Sasuke?" Ino coos as she wraps her arms around my neck. Get off me.

I narrow my eyes. "No."

A blur of blond passes through my peripheral vision. Whenever Naruto walks into the classroom, he always comes in with so much energy, greeting me and going on with his one-sided conversations about how he'll do better than me on all our assignments. Recently though, there has been something in his eyes so off that I sometimes - just _sometimes _- wonder if he is okay. I usually tell him how much of a loser he is and that I've done better than him on all our assignments so far, and that causes him to go off on a rant about how he'll get better than me, how he never goes back on his promises, and so on. It reaches the point that the guy no longer seems as strange, but instead almost happy despite how I berate him. He must realize that I don't say those things _entirely_ maliciously; even if they're all true, I partially say them just to see his amusing reactions. Sometimes...I briefly think that interacting with him isn't that bad, but then I remember just how much of an idiot he is. Naruto does not fail to remind me of his incompetency yet again today.

"Just watch me kick your ass in today's math quiz, you bastard!" Naruto yells. "I swear, I'll beat you!"

"Loser. Just try it."

Naruto continues to argue with me, yet some joy returns to his eyes as the conversation continues on. I notice from the corner of my eye that the pink-haired nuisance just walked in, her eyes nervously glancing in my direction as well. I hate dealing with Sakura when she acts like this. I know I made her feel awful when I walked out on her in her own house, and even though every word I said to her was the truth she needed to hear, I despise that sad, dejected look in her eyes. Why doesn't she do something more productive like try to fix her mistakes? Moping around will do nothing for her. I'm sick of seeing her like this.

"Sakura." I observe the figure that just fell into her seat beside me, and already she's even more nervous than earlier. "Stop moping around and do something about the way you feel."

Maybe that was a bit harsh; I can practically see my words, a boulder, crash down on her head. Anxiety twists around in her eyes and her hands fidget, but she then finally finds the strength to look me in the eyes.

"You...you're right. I'm sorry!" She chuckles sheepishly. "It's just...I've had some thinking to do ever since you told me what you did. I'm not really sure what to do anymore."

"Hey, hey, Sakura," Naruto says. "Did this bastard do something to you? I can beat him up and then take you out on a da-"

"Don't even think about it, Naruto!" Anger flashes in Sakura's jade eyes, but then she pauses, and her eyes briefly flash toward me. "Um...why don't we eat lunch together today, Naruto? I'll introduce you to some of my friends. Of course, I'd love it if you came too, Sasuke!" She faces me with a fake smile plastered onto her face that is just pleading with me to not leave her with this idiot.

"What!?" Ino exclaims from behind me. "Sakura, you're inviting _Naruto _to lunch with us? You can't be ser-"

Sakura clamps her hand over her best friend's mouth with an awkward smile. "Just ignore her!"

I couldn't eat lunch with them even if I wanted to. Today is Club's Day, and I need to join at least two clubs to help my application to Harvard next year. The awards I've won in music help a lot, but I need to upkeep my academics and my extracurricular activities as well. It's not like I enjoy them, and if I only wanted to get into Todai **(1)**, they wouldn't even be necessary. I suppose I have no choice though.

"I'll pass," I say before taking out my psychology binder. I notice that Naruto's eyes have already returned to that state of joy they were in at the beginning of the school year at Sakura's invitation, and I forgot myself; I allow a smirk to seep through.

"Sakura…" Naruto trails off, probably so happy that he doesn't know what to do with himself, but then his shocked expression transforms into a still joyful frown as he glares at me. "I don't want a bastard like you to come, but I'll tolerate you for Sakura's sake, bastard!"

"I have other things to attend to," I say. "Eat lunch without me, or what, are you too stupid to feed yourself?"

"Fine, just stay behind then!" The blond looks away, but upon seeing Sakura's slightly-angry-but-disappointed face, he relents. "If you're gonna be like that, I'll have to drag you with me to eat lunch together, just for Sakura!"

"It would be fun!" Sakura nods fervently in agreement with Naruto, her eyes desperate.

I shake my head with slight amusement. "I guess I'll have to run out of math class before you can catch me then, Naruto."

"Oh, you're on, bastard! I'll kick your ass all the way to Siberia!" The idiot grins. Now this is the Naruto I remember from the first day of school.

"Stop it!" Sakura laughs, but I can see her eyebrow twitching from the laborious effort it takes to tolerate the blond idiot. "Naruto, do you even know where Siberia is?"

"...No..."

Sakura starts yelling at Naruto, though not completely cruelly, and I'm left to contemplate the fact that I go to school with these idiots.

But I will beat Naruto today out of the math classroom. We don't have a seating plan in that class, so if I can just get a seat by the door, I should be able to exit the classroom quickly and outrun him. I need to also lose him quickly, otherwise he'll find and grab me, then force me to eat lunch with him. Part of me realizes that it would be easier to just tell him I can't eat lunch with him because I need to join a few clubs, but...competition is exciting. I want to beat Naruto.

Class starts, and as the clock ticks with each passing second, I can see Naruto get stiffer and stiffer. I was hoping he was stupider than I thought, but he has caught on to the fact that the seating in our next class will determine everything. He wants to beat me to the seat closest to the door, doesn't he? Thankfully he is still a big enough of a moron to think that running out of this classroom will guarantee him getting a good seat in the next class.

Why do I even care about this? This is so immature, so stupid...but…

It's fun.

The national anthem starts to play over the speakers. It'll be just five minutes before the bell rings for students to go to their next class. Naruto is sitting up completely straight, and I know that he is preparing for battle. This is the most excited I've seen him since the first few days of school, and it's somewhat refreshing, though annoying.

Just a few seconds now.

Three.

Two.

One.

The bell rings, and a flash of yellow streaks past me and out the door. My classmates simply stare at him, or rather the door he just exited, but then go on as if nothing happened. I don't note much more than that and instead briskly march out through the exit behind Naruto. There was a huge flaw in his plan, a flaw anyone could see but him, so I'm not too worried about myself.

As I get closer to the classroom upstairs at the end of the hall, I slow to a casual stroll; this will infuriate that idiot even further for sure. Down the hall he is already reaping the results of his obvious error; Asuma - he goes by his first name so students don't confuse him with the principal, his father - is disciplining Naruto outside the classroom, likely about the dangers of students running in the hallways. I smirk as I take my seat right by the door.

"You sneaky piece of crap! You knew this would happen, didn't you!?" a voice behind me shouts, undignified. "But it doesn't matter 'cause I'm still gonna beat you later!"

"Naruto!" Asuma says. "Listen to me, you can't always…"

I ignore the rest of the conversation, but I can feel Naruto's scowl pierce my body as I sit smugly by the door and take out my textbook. There are a few people in the class already, but most have taken window seats and seats in the middle of what is obviously a math classroom - as if one poster of pi saying 'Math is fun!' wouldn't tell me enough, tons of these posters cover the walls - and the seats near the door are now taken too.

I have the advantage against Naruto; I'm a sprinter, whereas Naruto seems to be a marathoner, so if I can just lose that idiot, I win. The best part is that Naruto doesn't even know I'm a sprinter yet. I could tell from our first gym class what kind of athlete he was, but he has no idea of what my strengths are. Indeed, he's fast, but I'm faster.

Behind a group of chattering girls, Naruto finally drags himself inside the classroom and stops at my desk. "I got lunch detention," he says without even bothering to look at me before plopping himself down two seats to my left.

My lips twitch. Naruto must always be this unruly to get a detention just for running in the hallway. I didn't think that things would actually go this smoothly for me. It seems the fortune is finally on my side. I can relax.

Somehow, I'm somewhat disappointed.

* * *

The look on Naruto's face was not as funny as I hoped it would be. As I silently left the classroom just minutes ago, I noticed how all he could do was stare at his desk in despair. I suppose he was angry that his lunch date with Sakura was canceled because of his detention, but that was his own fault. It had nothing to do with me; he should behave more appropriately so he doesn't get detentions so easily. He might have just failed that ridiculously easy quiz too.

The tide of sweaty students finally pushes me into the overcrowded gym, and I'm surrounded by booths smothered with flashy posters promoting their respective clubs. I'm disgusted. I hate extracurriculars and other such useless things, but if I want to even be able to apply to Ivy League schools, I don't have much of a choice. I'd rather go to Todai, but if I want to be as good as Itachi, I have no choice.

The wave disperses as I move further into the gym; the fish are now swimming to the various tables, I suppose. I should start my search. I'll join some sort of music club to show my dedication to the violin, and I'll also enlist in a business club to show how much I want to get into the commerce program. Of course.

Since I'm not sure where I'll find these sorts of clubs, I wander around whilst glancing at the different booths. Some of the signboards are scrawled on so messily that they're practically illegible, and I wonder how these people are competent enough to even run a club. Students are everywhere shouting silly slogans and mentions of free food, desperate to get people to join their clubs, and it's all just so stupid. People laugh idly, sign up for clubs with their friends or just for the food...don't these people have anything better to do than hang out in this cramped, musty gym?

The two clubs I need, the Business Venture Club and Chamber Music Group, are nearby, and I sign up quickly without interacting with any of the club heads. I sigh with relief from the fact that I can finally leave this place, when I suddenly feel a heavy hand fall on my shoulder.

"I finally got you!"

I cringe at the loud voice behind me, but I know I've been caught. I finished everything I needed to do, but part of me hoped I won't have to deal with this idiot ever again.

Besides...he still caught me. I let my guard down.

I lost.

The orange nuisance jumps in front of me and throws out a peace sign. "I win! But damn, Sasuke, why didn't you just say that you wanted to look at the clubs? I would've gone with you here first so we could have eaten lunch with Sakura together, y'know?" Naruto says. "Asuma let me out early, so I ate lunch with Sakura and her friends first since I had no idea where you were, and then I left them early to come find you!"

"What for?" I roll my eyes. I'm tired of him already.

"So I could introduce you to Sakura's friends!" Naruto says. "You're new here, so I figured even a bastard like you deserved the chance to meet some other people! It sucks not having any friends, I know."

"I have things to do," I say before continuing out of the gym. Can he not accept that not everyone is like him? Not everyone craves friendship. Some people would rather stay away.

"Like what?" Naruto says, his footsteps quickening to catch up with me. "What could be more important than friends?"

I pause. "Living up to expectations," I mutter too quietly for him to hear when I notice a few girls standing at the corner of the gym.

"Hey, you see that piece of crap there?"

"Yeah, he should just do everyone a favour and kill himself, right? No one likes him anyway!"

The girls stare at Naruto with cruel smirks, cackling as they whisper into each other's ears. I'm likely the only one close enough to hear them, but I glance back at Naruto just to be sure. He is ranting about how he only get a detention in the first place because he's been caught 'a bunch of times,' so there is no way he has even noticed those girls, likely in our grade, standing there. Hastening my pace, I march out of the gym in hopes that Naruto will keep up with me before he has the chance to notice them. I now understand why they say ignorance is bliss.

* * *

The next week passes without incident. Much to Naruto and Sakura's disappointment, I give my classmates no attention and manage to avoid being dragged to eat lunch together. Some of my fangirls back off, and the others are easy to run from. The days are fairly boring and filled with studying for SATs and university entrance exams, as well as minor assignments. Clubs don't start until next week anyway, so I don't need to worry about attending anything bothersome until then. People continue to bully Naruto verbally, perhaps even physically outside of school - I don't associate with the idiot when I don't have to, so I wouldn't know - but I try not to give it much thought. I need to better myself before I can even consider involving myself with others and their own affairs.

Today is different from all the other days this past week, however. Father is coming home tonight, and I have to hurry home after school to make dinner for the two of us; I thought it might be an appropriate way to show that whatever he has done in the past is no longer of any significance to me. So far, I've managed to make it through the first two periods of the day, and now that it's lunchtime, I get to relax for a few minutes. I bought a salad earlier in my desire to look healthy, and I already ate it while at my locker.

It was after I left my locker that I saw something on the second floor.

Spray painted in bright red was the word 'Faggot' across a single locker, and it didn't take much effort for me to guess whose locker it was.

I didn't know where Naruto was. I didn't know if he had already seen the graffiti, and I didn't know where to look for him, but I wanted to wash it all away before he could see it. Sure, Naruto is a loser, but if someone doesn't like him, they should just go up to his face and say it instead of being such a coward. Obviously, I didn't have cleaning supplies with me or anything like that, so I tipped off a janitor to clean it. Now, I'm here in a bathroom stall studying for my physics quiz on Friday. People won't leave me alone anywhere I go, even in the school library, so this is my only option. Besides, without knowing where Naruto is, there isn't much else I can do. It's not like I'd do anything even if I knew where he was anyway, since there is no way I'd ever let him think I'm even remotely concerned about him.

I've been thinking about how I could look more like an Uchiha, and I might have the answer. I need to continue to dress appropriately, which I always do - black pants with white or dark colored shirts is almost all my closet consists of - and I need to make sure my hair is appropriate. I've always liked to spike it at the back as a symbol of the small bit of vanity I possess, and Father has approved it since it makes the family look like normal, pleasant, but still dignified people.

It's just...my face. My body. I don't care how much the girls back in Japan liked me, but I look terrible. My skin is gray, and I just...my appearance doesn't live up to the Uchiha name. Maybe eating better and exercising more than before will help me look better, but I'm not so sure.

No, Sasuke. You need to be serious about this. You represent the Uchiha family. You can't just _think_ about trying to better your image; you need to _commit_ to changing yourself; it's your only chance of gaining an appearance that will live up to the family name.

_Sniff...sniff…_

Who is interrupting my thoughts with their crying now? I understand that the bathroom stalls are where everyone goes when they need to cry at school, and while one quarter of me is curious as to who it is, the other three quarters don't care. I really wish the crybaby beside me would shut up, but if I can't get him to be quiet, I'll just have to leave. I can find somewhere else to hide out.

I throw my books into my bag and push open the stall door, my hand already on the exit door when I hear another stall creak open. I turn to see who the crybaby is, and though slightly shocked for the first half a second, I'm not surprised who it is in the end.

The chameleon.

I can only see his eyes through the small opening between the stall door and wall, but those sparkling cobalt, albeit swollen eyes identify him as Naruto immediately. I don't know a single other person with eyes like that, and I'm sure they're not common.

"I've wanted to thank you," the voice says loudly, brimming with fake vibrancy. "I know what you said about me to Sakura. She explained everything to me at the start of lunch, and now the whole school knows. You're the only person who has ever stood up for me. I'm glad to know someone like you, you know?"

Everyone here must have ears the size of the school itself; the students here always seem to know everything as soon as it happens.

I click my tongue. "If you're so happy about that, why are you crying? You could be doing something more productive."

"Because I ruined your social life before it started." Naruto shakes his head, his golden bangs falling in front of his eyes as he smiles weakly. "You defending me automatically means everyone will hate you since you're now on the same side as me."

"There has to be more to it than that." I raise an eyebrow. "People don't usually cry for that sort of reason. Besides, perhaps having well-liked people associate with you will make you more popular instead of the other way around."

I hear a joyless chuckle behind the stall. "Maybe you're right, but today, someone spray painted my locker and called me a fag. I'd usually not care, or maybe just get angry and beat the person up, but I've had it. I mean, I've been hated since I was just a kid, you know, always bullied, always friendless. These people don't know anything about me, but they're constantly hating on me, telling me I'm some stupid fag, and they don't know _anything _about me. It just...it pisses me off so bad."

So, even though it was already obvious, it is now confirmed. Naruto really is being bullied. This explains why he became depressed shortly after school started; with school restarting, the bullying restarted. He was happy before that, presumably, during a summer in which he didn't have to deal with the people who hate him.

"Crying isn't going to do anything," I say. "Why didn't you ever transfer schools before this?"

"There's only so much I can do!" Naruto says. "I've tried so many things including ignoring them and beating them up, and even though no one mocks me to my face anymore, they still find other ways to try to make me miserable. I'm sick of it. I scored some points by eating with Sakura and her friends last week, but people still hate me. Nothing helps, no matter how nice I am to people."

"Why would you bother to try to befriend these people? Don't you hate them?"

"Sometimes, but it won't help me in the end. Instead, I'll just get everyone to acknowledge me!" The blond smiles, but there is no mirth in his eyes. "Maybe I'm on my way there now that Sakura has opened up. It's going to take a lot of work, but I'll make sure everyone recognizes me, and I'll even become student council president next year! I will make friends too, but, of course, I'd never consider a bastard like you my friend!"

I smirk. "Hn. Unless you surpass me, loser, I could never consider you a friend either. It's not like you ever could even come close to beating me, anyway, let alone be at the same level as me."

"Oh yeah? Trust me, even if I can't beat you in the classroom, I can beat you on the field! I'll pummel you in our next race, and that's a promise!" Naruto finally pushes open the stall door completely, and his smile is the brightest I've seen it all day; it matches his neon clothing well. "You got that, Robot-Bastard?"

"Excuse me?" I frown. What is that supposed to mean?

"Well, you talk like a robot, you know?" Naruto says. "You're so stiff! You're like a walking computer program or something. Besides, you're also just a total bastard."

I suppose I can't argue that I don't sound like everyone else. Why not make full use of the English language and speak like a more educated person though? This was the English I was taught by my mother, teachers, and tutors Father hired. I'm supposed to sound like someone intelligent, someone refined that is completely fluent in English...and this is what I get? A nickname as dirty as this?

"Don't you dare call me that, _dobe._" I curl my hands and turn away. That last part was unintentional, but that doesn't matter.

"The hell did you call me?" Naruto steps outside of the stall and faces me, still somehow smiling while maintaining an angry expression. It irritates me.

"Want me to wipe that smirk off that face of yours, idiot?" I say.

Naruto curls his hands. "You want a piece of me? Do what you want, but hey, it won't bring your mom back."

What?

My reflection in the muck-filled glass betrays nothing, but its empty is empty. I don't understand. Why? I don't care about this guy, so what he says shouldn't bother me, but why? Why would he say that? He doesn't even...but I know Mom...no, she will, but…

Code red.

"Don't talk to me ever again." I hiss. I can't tell if it's anger, hurt, or sorrow leaking in my voice, but I need to turn off the faucet before it explodes. "Or I'll _fucking kill you_."

"Wait, Sasuke, I didn't mean any of that!" Naruto gasps, meeting my eyes with sudden urgency, but I don't care. I march out of that crap-smelling bathroom and slam the door behind me. I need to leave before I start seeing red and do something I'll regret.

Red.

"Wait, Sasu-"

_BAM._

The sound of bone connecting with bone resounds through the air, followed by something collapsing to the ground, groaning.

…

What have I done?

Naruto is lying on the filthy floor, coughing as he grabs his chest. His eyes are shut closed as he twitches in pain, and already a few students have started to crowd around him. They're starting at me.

I just punched Naruto. I just punched someone while at school. Hard.

The red fades from my vision, only to be replaced with horror. Naruto completely deserved that, but if the school finds out, I, I...it'll go on my permanent record, and I...

I turn around and run as fast as I can down the navy stairwell.

I'm disgusting.

* * *

I don't even know how I made it through the rest of the day. I barely paid any attention in class, instead dreading the phone call to the principal's office where they'd say that Father had been called, that this incident would go on my permanent record, that I'd be suspended...but none of that happened, or at least not today. There's still time to get suspended. I'm not safe.

On my way home, I see Sakura and Ino walk up to that _idiot_ and engage him in conversation. Naruto looks slightly tired, but completely fine otherwise. They smile together, laugh together. I suppose I did a good deed by saying what I did to Sakura. Sakura is popular; her association with him, after some time, will likely halt the bullying.

But stop mocking me with that jubilation you possess.

I can't take it. I can't take it anymore. I break into a sudden run, breezing past all the rich houses, the hospital, the pharmacy, the bus station, more houses, and then I don't even know where I am anymore. The trees whip by me, and all I can see in the distance besides all the mansions are the mountains looming over me, judging me. The sky, bathed in gray, threatens to shed scornful tears, while the ocean desires to swallow me whole. How long have I been running? I only know that my legs have been carrying me far, much farther than I've ever gone on my daily runs before. My chest starts to heave, and I let my knees buckle beneath me in a park facing the Rocky Mountains.

That _moron_ hates me even after I tried to help him, and Sakura can barely even look at me. Nobody else has ever stopped to talk to me beyond superficial, idle chat at school, and as for home, I've even betrayed my brother. Only Mom is there for me, but, maybe as a punishment, she won't wake up…'Mom won't come back,' right? Worst of all, I even punched someone at school. Even if he deserved it, that won't matter to the school nor my family. How am I supposed to live up to my father's standards when I'm like this? I...I need to do something. I need to make changes in my life if I ever want Father to acknowledge me.

I think this area is Point Grey. I've run a long way, and now it will be a long trek back to my own house. That's okay though; this is perfect training for my match against that _idiot_ next month. I've just upped, more like doubled, my daily training. This isn't enough though; I need to be able to run faster than him with the same stamina it took to run this far, and then I won't ever have to look at his stupid face again. I don't even want to compete against him anymore, but the teacher is already expecting our match.

Besides, with training this intense everyday...maybe it will help me meet Father's standards.

I pick myself up from the ground and brush off any leaves from my pants. I've rested long enough. I need to get home, make dinner, and study. I need to make a good impression on Father tonight. I shouldn't let what Naruto said bother me either - he shouldn't even know about Mom - but it absolutely disgusts me that he could say something like that. Was it supposed to be a joke? I don't care. That mocking tone he used was unacceptable.

Or what if he does know? Maybe he knows Mom is in a coma, and he used it against me. How would he know that though?

Sakura must have told him. He did say that she told him everything, after all. This was her revenge for me walking out on her.

I clench my jaw as I stare at the grass beneath me. I _hate_ them _both_. I feel empty of all emotion but the flames of hatred. It takes everything shred of willpower I have to stop myself from finding them and murdering them. My fists tremble with anger, and I am consumed by my loathing for those two as if a dark claw just ripped open and invaded my chest. If I could, I really would slaughter them.

Suddenly, I feel something brush against my arm. "Sorry," I mutter as I glance at who I might have offended.

To my left is a strangely pale man with abnormally long, charcoal hair that falls down to his waist. He has some sort of purple eye makeup on, and upon seeing me, his lips form into an eerie smile.

"Any time, boy." The man's tongue - his _really long _tongue - escapes from his mouth and licks his lips ravenously. This man makes me feel even more revolting than I did just seconds ago. I shudder internally and turn away to hurry back to my house.

* * *

My phone is ringing.

I'm sorry I can't pick up, Nii-san, but you don't need to be concerned about me.

"I'm sorry, Father. I left the curry to simmer for a few minutes, so, before it's too late...please turn off the stove before it burns."

No reply.

It's too late to deny anything. I could try, and I desperately want to, but I know it's impossible. I can't explain the bruise I received in any other way besides that Father gave it to me. A nightmare? Impossible. Anything else just sounds stupid, and trying to convince myself it was something else would be foolish. I was too confident before, too cocky. I thought I was meeting the Uchiha standard, but now I see I'm not even close to reaching it. I was so stupid, such a moron, for thinking that I was even close to good enough. Father never paid attention to me before; he always focused on Nii-san because Nii-san was just so amazing at everything, so _perfect _without even trying_, _while even my greatest efforts went unnoticed because I couldn't quite reach that standard Nii-san flawlessly passed. After the accident, Father almost stopped talking to me altogether, instead so proud of Nii-san's accomplishments in high school, Nii-san being able to get into Todai, Nii-san being able to get into every single Ivy League school.

I...I was always just the mistake.

So now, I should just let Father beat the mistakes out of me; if I'm lucky, it'll work. I wonder if it is even possible. My entire being is defected. I was called an idiot by a witless fool, so that is an indicator of how stupid I must be. I'm a liar, I'm uncommitted, and I'm disgusting. I'm even so wretched as to punch someone at school. To top if off, my appearance doesn't meet the Uchiha standard. There isn't a point in lying to myself any longer; out of everyone, the ugliest one is me.

So, it's okay, Father. Come at me with your drunken madness. It's a punishment I deserve. I see that monstrous glint in your eyes, I feel your cruel intent in the air, I smell the stench of vodka. I understand why you abhor me. There are so many reasons, reasons that cause you to follow me into my bedroom like now to do what you're about to do. I'm not good enough to be your son. I understand why you're doing this, but…

I'm scared. Don't come near me. Don't touch me. Don't hurt me. Please, no. All I can do is back away, back away, no, hit the wall, nowhere to...

This isn't happening. Father has always been strict, but he would never hurt me like this. I mean, the belt, maybe, but this?

You aren't Father.

I'm trapped. I can't run. I can't hide. Don't come any closer, not with those clenched fists, those steel toe boots.

I deserve this. Everyone agrees that I'm disgusting. They all hate me, and I need this punishment to motivate me to become better.

But can't I change?

I see his fists, inconceivable fireballs of fury shaking with murderous rage. Frozen, I watch his monstrous face contort into a manifestation of wrath, he's coming closer, he's raising his fist, no, please, no, stop it STOP IT STOP IT

_Wham._

Fire, agony, spinning, stars.

A voice screaming.

Mine? Can't breathe.

Pointed boots. No! Don't! DON'T

_Bam_

Blood blood blood pain shooting no fists don't no stop someone save me

I can't do th

_bang bang bang bang baNG BANG BANG BANG BANG BA_

...

* * *

(1) Tokyo Daigaku (or Tokyo University) is often called Todai for short. It is arguably the most prestigious university in Japan, as well as one of the hardest to get into. Extracurriculars and grades barely count toward getting into university compared to the infamous university entrance exams.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know Naruto seems OoC, but if you stick around for next chapter, it'll make complete sense. It also gave me the opportunity to explain why the writing style was so complex despite the story being in first person. Anyway, I will try to post my chapters up more regularly. Thank you again for the lovely reviews, and I'll hopefully see you next chapter!


	4. fear is meant to be suffocating

A/N: As always, thank you for reviewing, and also a huge thank you to those who remember this fic and continue to read it! I am really going to try to get back into regular updates now. By the way, I noticed that the line breaks in my chapters don't always show up depending on your viewing settings. I'm sorry if you can't always see them, and I'm not sure if this solution will work for everyone, but having wider spaces between each line helps to make the line breaks visible. Anyway, please enjoy the chapter!

* * *

"**Fear is the anticipation of evil."**

**- Aristotle **

* * *

I'm okay.

I've been living a normal life as a normal boy. My older brother, Itachi, attends Harvard University. My father is often away on business trips around the world. I get standard grades. There is nothing different about me. I am normal, but…

"How many times are you going to make me say sorry?" a voice booms behind me.

I don't give second chances.

"It doesn't matter if what you said 'wasn't what you meant.'" I don't bother to halt my pace down the third floor hallway and away from the blond idiot. "Not only did you go behind my back and then insult me to my face, you even brought my private life into this. How much more do I need to hear from you?"

Naruto grabs me from behind and pushes me against the wall and -

"_Itee_!"**(1) **I clench my fists. My head is still sore from…

I'm fine. I'm okay. Everything is normal.

"Shut up!" he yells despite already being an inch from my face. "You know what you told Sakura about me, about giving me a chance? She told her friends, and some of them have actually started to _talk to me. _They see I'm not that bad a guy and now talk to me now because _they want to._ I hate to admit it, but it's because you said stuff to them, so…" He hesitates. "Thanks. Now can't you just give me a chance to explain everything?"

"_Goma wo suru na,"_**(2) **I roll my eyes.

Naruto's face contorts into confusion. "What?"

I stare at him blankly, only to realize what just happened. I let nothing show on my face, but I probably really do have...a con-

"Don't flatter me." I narrow my eyes. "It's not like I forced them to talk to you."

"No, but they would have just continued ignoring me if you hadn't said something." Naruto shakes his head. "Now that some of the popular guys are on my side, the bullying isn't as bad!"

I don't see what any of this has to do with me.

"What do you want from me?" I roll my head to the left just so I won't have to look him in the face. The door to the gym bleachers is dated; there are scratches all over the cobalt paint, revealing pale yellow underneath.

Naruto squeezes my shoulders, and I barely manage to contain my hiss from the pain. He doesn't seem to notice anything as he launches into yet another apology.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes I say stuff too fast and it comes across as something bad when it wasn't what I meant. What I meant was that, well, you know, your mom is -"

_Brrriiiing._

The loud, high-pitched ring is a welcoming noise to my miffed ears. I suppose this is the situation when people say they were saved by the bell. I'll have to face this imbecile again later during gym class, but I can avoid him for another hour and fifteen minutes at least.

I shove the blue-eyed blockhead away from me and turn wordlessly. To think he followed me after I excused myself from class a few minutes early to see the school nurse. He's way too persistent, and he didn't even give me the chance to go to the nurse like I needed.

Suddenly, a wave of nausea washes me, and the world splits in two. Great, now there are two Narutos, both staring at me with such conceit etched on their faces. I automatically hold myself up by leaning against the wall, then shut my eyes. At least the migraine medication I take waves away any possible extra pain.

"Hey, are you okay?" the idiot asks. "You look pale."

"I'm just fine." I brush him off and make my way, albeit slowly, to the staircase. I have a club meeting to attend, so I don't have time to deal with him right now. In fact, I don't have time to ever deal with him again.

Surprisingly, Naruto doesn't follow me, and within minutes I've made it downstairs to the music room where a few people are already sitting in a half circle at the front of the room. The moment I take my seat next to some redheaded girl, another boy takes the empty seat to my right. I rub my forehead - my head feels like I smashed it against a cement brick, but that's still miles away from the migraines I got from the accident.

Standing at the front by the blackboard is a tall boy with dark hair that falls to his waist. He looks up from the clipboard in his hands and clears his throat. "It looks like everyone is here."

There are only six people here in total, but that is more than enough for any chamber group. Depending on what instruments we all play, we will more than likely have to double parts if we want to include everyone in all pieces.

The boy, presumably the head of the club, crosses his arms as a heavy look sits on his face. "In case you're unaware, I'm Neji Hyuga, the senior in charge of the Chamber Music Club."

Hyuga? As in from Hyuga Limited? The Uchiha Corporation has been rivals with them for years, and relations between us have always been tense. If I can perform well here, this could be a chance for me to help make our relationship more amicable.

"You have all already written on the sign-up sheet which instruments you play," he points to his clipboard, "but for the sake of introductions, you will announce your names and instruments to everyone." I swear that Neji throws me a stern look, perhaps out of recognition. "We'll go counter-clockwise starting from me. I play the cello."

"I'm Sai." A pasty Chinese boy paints a plastic smile on his face, his crutches leaning on his chair - he broke his leg last week after falling down the stairs from the fourth floor, or so I hear. "I play the viola."

"My name is Sasuke." I stare hard at Neji. "I play the violin."

A red-headed girl crosses her arms as she leans back in her chair. "Yo, I'm Tayuya, and I'm on cello."

"I'm Sakura, and I'm also on violin," that pink-haired girl says while avoiding my eyes.

A long silence ensues. There is still one girl left to introduce herself, and she seems to realize this; she keeps on opening and closing her mouth as if she wants to say something, and her hands are shaking as she continuously presses her fingers together out of shyness.

"Hinata-_sama?_"**(3) **Neji coughs. If I remember correctly, the name of the heiress to Hyuga Limited is Hinata, and judging by the fact that Neji is speaking to her in formal Japanese, plus their identical pale eyes, she must be Hinata Hyuga.

"I-I'm H-Hinata H-Hyuga," she stammers. "...v-viola."

"Often, we'll have to either break into groups for different pieces or simply double people to a part," Neji says, "though our violins likely won't be getting a break since many chamber pieces require two violinists." He again narrows his eyes at me, though he also throws a hard look at the other violinist.

"Our first performance is at the school music festival, which is at the end of the month," Neji continues. "It's the festival that advertises our school music program, so many people from outside the student body will be watching us. We need to prepare quickly, and everyone must dedicate themselves to the performance. If you can't commit, then leave."

Only the sound of people screaming from the football field, which is just outside the window, is audible. Neji's aura of superiority prevents anyone from even daring to make a move.

"I did find a perfect piece for our group," Neji says, and Hinata stands as if on cue, a stack of sheet music in her hands. Eyes stuck to the floor the whole time, she hands out parts to each of us. On receiving my part, I smirk. Tchaikovsky's 'Souvenir de Florence' is a challenging string sextet that requires two violins, two violas, and two cellos, which matches our group completely. As expected, I'm first violin. Surprisingly though, Neji gave us all four movements, which will likely be difficult for people to learn perfectly in a month considering we also have schoolwork and school orchestra pieces to learn.

"You only need to learn the first movement for the school festival; Hinata and I will also be performing a duet we have worked on over the summer," Neji says. "However, you will need to have the whole piece ready to play by the beginning of December for the Hyuga Limited Christmas Party. It is a large corporate party that would normally hire a professional group, but considering we have some special members this year, the CEO decided this would be more beneficial." Neji's pale eyes nearly burn into my skin, and now I am positive he knows who I am.

Would Father be mad if I played at the Huyga's Christmas party? Maybe he'd be happy since it might ease tensions between us, or maybe he wants nothing to do with them. Regardless, I...want to play. I can convince him it would be beneficial for both families. I'm sure it will be as long as we play perfectly.

"We'll meet for practice once a week at lunchtime in this room from now on, perhaps twice a week as we close in on performance dates. I'll inform you of more performance dates and pieces to learn as they appear," Neji says. "I imagine a run-through right now would be useless, so start practicing and be ready to start rehearsing the first movement next week. You can go now."

Chairs screech as everyone begins to leave the room. I just finished sliding my sheet music into my jet black backpack when I hear a male voice speak in Japanese behind me.

"I know who you are, Uchiha." I turn around to see that Neji's expression has hardened, and I can't tell if he is abnormally serious or simply hates me. "I expect you know me as well, or at least Hinata-sama. The head of the family specifically requested our group to play at the party because there are not only two Hyugas as members, but you as well. The perfect opportunity to clear tensions between out families, as you should realize. You'll be first violin, so don't you dare make a mistake. It'll be the performance of your life, Uchiha."

"I only hope you can keep up with me." I smirk. I don't want to imagine what might happen if I ruin the performance, so I better act like I can play it well. I'm sure I'll be able to, anyway.

Neji's mouth twitches downward before he marches out of the room, slamming the door behind him. In the brief silence he left, I was fooled into thinking I was alone.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry about what happened with Naruto," that pink-haired girl says abruptly from beside the door. "Please, won't you talk to me?"

I pretend not to hear her and instead sling my backpack onto my back.

She chews her lip, eyes downcast. Suddenly, a flash of anger passes through her face, and her brow furrows. She glares up at me, arms crossed. "All I've done is be nice to you, Sasuke, so just, just stop being like this!" Something akin to anger must pass my own face, because she suddenly looks like she regrets what she said. Blood rushes to her cheeks. "Anyway, I'm going to explain what happened, so...just listen. Please."

She doesn't usually get this angry at me considering the extent of her obvious feelings for me, so I'll humour her. I stare her in the eyes and wait, which seems to make her nervous. She starts to twist her hair around her index finger before continuing, her cheeks still rosy.

"Well, before I met you, Itachi told me all the details about...the accident. Even though Naruto isn't that bad a guy, he can still be so annoying sometimes, right? I told him to stop bothering you so much because you have enough problems to deal with already, like what happened to your mom." Sakura's gaze moves to the floor. "It was a total accident. I didn't mean to mention any details about your life, so I tried to cover it up by saying that your mom was stuck in Japan taking care of her sick parents."

So she _did _tell Naruto something about Mom. Well, at least he doesn't know about what happened to her; I don't want him or anyone else knowing. I don't want their pity nor their laughter, depending on which one they would decide to throw at me.

"He said something about your mom not coming back, right?" Sakura says. "He meant coming back from Japan, not from a coma. He, he didn't know...I'm so sorry."

I suppose I overestimated the situation. Still, even if not to the extent I thought, Naruto said some horrible things. He should have expected me to get mad at him whether he phrased his feelings properly or not, and Sakura should have been more careful not to say anything. She promised me back at the hospital that she wouldn't tell anyone about Mom, and now I know she is even aware of what happened to me if Nii-san really did tell her everything about the accident. How can I not still be angry at everyone?

Sakura fidgets in place. "You're not mad anymore, are you?"

Ignoring her, I turn to walk out of the room. As I curl my hand around the doorknob, I glance back to see her staring at me with such failed hope glinting in her eyes that I can only sigh.

"Maybe not."

* * *

A few days pass of me not quite speaking to Naruto - I can't quite bring myself to stop being angry at him yet - and being somewhat decent to Sakura. I spend most of my time either studying, practicing the violin, or training for my rematch with Naruto. The rematch is tomorrow, and I'm as prepared as I can be, but first I have to try out for the basketball team. I need a sport to make my university application look more impressive.

The sound of basketballs being dribbled into the ground punches a steady rhythm into the musty air. As I finish my warm up amongst already sweaty teenage boys, most of whom are already practicing their ball handling, I tenderly rub my head. Considering I have a possible head injury, I also want to be careful to not get hit in the head again. Though it wasn't too much of an issue back in Japan since I was hospitalized for a while after the accident, I remember the doctor warning me to not get hit in the head anytime soon because it could cause further brain swelling and death. Still, I can't afford to pass on the tryouts for the one sport I'm particularly good at. I'll just have to be wary of my surroundings.

Coach Guy wants to observe four-on-four full-court matches, so there will be four rotating matches. I thought most coaches would want to see our various strengths and weaknesses in basketball, but I suppose it is easier to just see how well we play in a match. Each of the matches are only ten minutes, so I might be able to leave soon to eat lunch and study.

Panic suddenly floods through me as a heavy hand falls on my shoulder. I spin around to see Coach Guy himself grinning at me.

"Scared you, didn't I? Sorry about that!" He laughs heartily. "Just wanted to let you know that I'll have to reschedule tomorrow's run for about two weeks from now. There is going to be an emergency assembly tomorrow about the recent disappearances around here, and then we have a health unit to get through before we can get back outside. You'll let Naruto know about this, I'm sure!" He walks away, still laughing while in that ridiculous spandex suit.

This works well. Now, with two weeks of extra training, I'll definitely have the advantage over Naruto. I don't need to bother letting Naruto know about the new date either; he'll find out tomorrow when gym class is canceled.

"Sasuke! May I ask if you have a team yet?" Someone whose role model is clearly our gym teacher - he has the same bowl cut and green spandex outfit as him - waves to me from afar. "If possible, I'd like to request that you join mine!"

It doesn't matter what team I join anyway, so I jog over to meet him, and he beams. "I'm Rock Lee! Our team will be playing first, so please prepare yourself!"

Sure enough, the sharp blow of a whistle echoes through the court, and Coach Guy waves over our team to the left. I scout out the talent on the other team; no one looks notable, but I suppose playing them will be a different matter.

The match turns out to be short, but satisfying. I'm aware that at 168 centimetres I am short for a basketball player, but I'm a decent point guard, and I believe I reflected that in today's game. I managed to effectively control the flow of the match and set up some good plays for the other players, but made quite a few baskets myself. I still have a headache, but my vision stayed stable during the match, so there were no problems. Lee was perhaps too intense, but he definitely overpowered the other team. There were no notable players besides him, but it doesn't matter anymore; we crushed the other team with a score of 22 to 6.

My running high is tainted, however, after I exit the change room alone. Naruto is waiting right by the door, and he jerks up to look at me as soon as he hears the door open.

"Hey, Sasuke!" he frowns. "I still don't really get why the hell you're so mad at me. Sakura explained everything to you, didn't she? I didn't even tell anyone that you punched me!"

"She did explain, but I still don't see why I suddenly need to be friends with you." I walk past him, though grateful that no one knows I hit him. "What do you want from me?"

Naruto catches up to me and glares. "I'm sorry, okay?! I just don't want anyone mad at me anymore, but if you're going to be like that, then I'm not sorry!"

"Fine by me," I say as I reach my locker. Just as I open it, a tanned hand slams it closed. That idiot is still here.

"I hate you, you hate me, we both get that," he blabbers, "but Sakura likes us, and I know that you have to work with her on a bunch of music stuff. So, I'm going to be the mature one here and make you eat lunch with us."

I'm not sure which part of that was supposed to be mature, and I don't see why I need to eat lunch with him and Sakura.

"Come on, what if one of us grows up to be super rich and powerful?" he whines. "My parents always say that networking really helps or whatever."

The chances of me being 'super rich and powerful' are slim with me being the second son in my family, but it's still important that I remain dignified to properly represent my family. I suppose it couldn't hurt to go for lunch if it could possibly help my family in the future.

I give a hesitant nod. That idiot played me.

As if he's afraid that I'll change my mind, Naruto grabs me by the wrist and drags me downstairs, I suppose to the cafeteria. He pushes through a rush of students without noticing, or at least caring about the dirty looks they throw him, and then he finally stops in front of a table that is already seating a few students.

"Okay, time for introductions!" Naruto pants, but I can see crinkles form at the ends of his eyes.

I wasn't aware I supposed to meet all these other people too. I've seen each of their faces before in one class or another, though I don't know all their names quite yet. The ones I've never spoken to before look at me curiously, and I suppose I don't have a choice.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I just moved here from Japan." It will probably take another few days before I remember to stop bowing to people - I barely manage to stop myself now.

"Man, you're so polite!" One boy with short, spiky chestnut hair laughs. "I'm Kiba Inazuka, but you know that. We just played on the same basketball team."

I hadn't taken a good look at his features, so I actually had forgotten that.

"You know me." Sakura avoids my gaze. "Are we okay now?"

I guess she is asking if our supposed friendship is okay. Well, I suppose she did what she could.

"Yeah." I nod.

The platinum blonde from English class raises her hand eagerly. "Ooh, you remember me, right? I'm Ino! Ino Yamanaka!"

A bored-looking boy yawns loudly before blinking and glancing at me. "Sasuke? I'm Shikamaru Nara."

I again nod - it's the best way of acknowledging someone's existence - but before I can say anything, the rambunctious Naruto interrupts.

"Oh, guys, you all have to come to my birthday party next week!" he grins. "It's next Friday at 7:00. You better show up!"

Ino whips her head around to face me and bats her eyelashes. "You're coming too, right Sasuke?"

Is she just using Naruto to talk to me? Regardless, everyone starts chatting about how great the party will be, yet Naruto stares straight at me, acknowledging my silence.

"What about you, Sasuke?"

I don't have time for parties, and Father probably wouldn't let me go if I asked. Still, I don't think he is aware of the differences between Western schools and Japanese schools, so if I don't arrive home shortly after school ends, he'll probably just think I have club activities or a school event to plan. I don't want to betray him though, and I don't want to interact with this moron either.

"I can't. I'm busy."

"Well, it's not like I wanted a bastard like you to come anyway." His face turns sour as he turns away.

"No, Sasuke HAS to come," Sakura insists right away, and she gives me a look as if she is pleading me to go.

"Fine, fine," Naruto grumbles. "I'll text you my address. What's your number?"

Do I really need to give him my number? I don't want him texting me all through the night and bothering me. I don't want anyone to have my number at all, actually; I only have one to get in contact with Nii-san. I probably can't get out of this situation while maintaing some form of a reputation though, the one I nearly blew last week.

Sighing, I hastily tell him my phone number. "Only text me if it is necessary," I add.

But Naruto probably doesn't even hear me; he is busy typing rapidly on his iPhone, and he sticks is tongue out slightly from sheer concentration. He then looks up at me strangely. "Why isn't your phone beeping? I just texted you so you'd have my number too."

"I left my phone at home."

"What? What the hell is the point of a cellphone if you're not gonna carry it with you?" He shoots me a funny look before going back to his original subject. "But anyway, you better show up, bastard."

"Don't count on it. We have that statistics assignment due Monday."

"Seriously?" Naruto's eyes grow big, then fill with mischief. "Hey, well...why don't we work on it together? I'll come over to your house today."

My stomach drops. He can't come to my house.

Naruto cocks his head. "What's wrong?"

Wait. If someone else is with me at my house, there's nothing to worry about.

"It's fine," I say. Naruto seems to approve, for he turns away and starts rapidly chatting away with Kiba.

I eat a small salad for lunch. I made this one, and this time I'm going to eat it no matter how terrible it tastes. I need proper nutrition to look like I am a member of the Uchiha family, and I can only do that if I eat properly. At least, that was what I planned; I still feel nauseous, so I only manage to eat half the salad and then just pick at the lettuce. Naruto's friends whine about how I'm so boring for eating a salad, but I ignore them and simply study instead. It's not my problem if they're willing to fail their subjects, unlike me. I need a perfect average.

I can't be sure if I have bruises on my back, but since certain spots still hurt, I should take caution and change into my gym clothes in a stall. There weren't many people in the change room earlier during lunch, so I was able to change behind some lockers where I could hide from people, but I won't be able to do that during gym class. I'm not in the mood to think of excuses right now either.

It'll be okay. Naruto might whine a bit about me not changing with everyone else, but it doesn't matter what he thinks. He doesn't know anything about me at all. I don't know a lot about him either, but has his mother been in a coma for five years? Has he had to take migraine pills since an accident five years ago because of a severe concussion? I can't say for sure, but most likely not. I don't want to divulge this information nor anything more recent, so I have to avoid situations in which he might ask.

Everything will be fine.

* * *

Gym class was as usual. We played soccer today, and I blocked a few goals while managing to avoid getting a ball to the head. I was lucky that Coach Guy didn't make us practice heading the ball today.

Now, the situation has changed. Things are no longer according to plan.

"What's wrong, Sasuke?"

I didn't want anyone to ever walk home with me, let alone go into my house, but maybe this is for the best. A huge ball, a ball made of acid and panic, has made its home inside my stomach. I think Father arrived this morning from New York City, and I don't really want to see him today. In fact, I don't know if I ever want to see him.

Of course I do. He's my father. He's family.

"Nothing." I shake my head. It's...good that someone else will be at my house today.

Naruto and I cross the intersection on the way to my house to work on that statistics assignment. Statistics is easy, or at least I think so, so Naruto wanting us to 'work together' won't happen. I'll likely end up having to tutor him. After a few minutes, I am just about to point to my house when Naruto again interrupts me.

"Wow, is that your house?" Naruto gazes up at the Victorian-style home in awe. "Hey, is that a Ferrari in the driveway?"

"This is my house," I confirm, but that's all I say. I don't even care that Naruto is acting more childish than usual. What matters is that my father's Ferrari is in the driveway.

_My father's Ferrari is in the driveway._

Relax. Everything will be okay. Take a deep breath. What happened with Father the other day was just a fluke. Really, you asked for it. You just need to become a better son, and then there will be no reason for him to do such things.

"Hey, what did you say your last name was?"

"Uchiha." I twist my house key in the lock and hear the door softly click. I pull open the door, revealing the familiar spiraling staircase and high ceiling. I mutter softly that I'm home.

Naruto stops.

"Get in." I push him over the threshold and practically drag him up the stairs, only leaving him time to take off his shoes.

"What's your hurry?" the idiot frowns. "But seriously, you're an Uchiha? Like from -"

"We will work in my bedroom."

At the top of the staircase I note that Father's office door is closed, and I can't smell even a whiff of alcohol. All is good so far. I turn into the left hallway, expecting Naruto to follow me at my pace, but as I reach my bedroom door, I notice that there isn't anyone directly behind me.

That imbecile! He's strolling down the hallway as if this is a museum!

"Get over here!" I whisper as loudly as I can, and Naruto frowns _again _(this must be a world record for someone like him).

"What's your problem?" he mumbles absentmindedly, but follows me into my bedroom nonetheless. Suddenly, his ears almost seem to perk up like some dog. "Wow, your room is dull."

I vaguely scowl, but Naruto is correct. My room only has a bed, a work desk, a ceiling fan, a closet, and a private bathroom. The walls are blindingly white with no hint of decoration or trim hiding anywhere. It's hard to believe that this room belongs in this 'magnificent' house. The only hint is the mountain range on the horizon outside my window.

"I only have one chair, so we will have to work on the floor if you want to work together." I set my backpack and violin on my hardwood floor.

Naruto dumps his backpack on the floor too. "But seriously, are you an Uchiha, like, from the Uchiha Corporation?"

I nod as I nonchalantly shift my copy of _Genji no Monogatari _to underneath a small pile of textbooks; I don't want Naruto asking questions. "So you've heard of it."

"Yeah! I don't really know what it is, but it's some big-name Japanese company."

"It's the biggest conglomerate in Japan and one of the biggest in the world."

"Seriously? Dude, you must have had paparazzi follow you everywhere in Japan."

"On occasion. I'm not exactly a celebrity, and I don't think they've even realized I moved here. I don't expect Western paparazzi to be interested in me, so it doesn't matter anymore."

That ended the subject. After just a few minutes, graphing calculators, graph paper, binders, and leftover erasers are all over my carpet, yet we hadn't even finished question one of the statistics assignment. All that moron has managed to successfully do is get my floor dirty.

"Do you wanna hear something funny?" Naruto sniggers, obviously going to tell me whatever it is even if I decline. "You know how when we first met, I said my name was Hero Knight?"

"What kind of idiot introduces himself by a different name?" I say, not looking up. I'm actually here to work on math, unlike him.

"Hey, I'm trying to talk here!" Naruto huffs. "Anyway, until recently, I got bullied a ton, so most of my social life was online, and my username on pretty much every site is Hero Knight. I'm sorta popular online, so I was testing you to see if you were one of my followers or friends."

"I don't see how that is funny." I input a few numbers into a formula in order to calculate the standard deviation.

"Hero Knight…" Naruto trails off nostalgically. "He was the person who had friends and was living the life I always wanted. Now I can be Hero Knight in real life thanks to the friends I can see in person. Of course, I still update all my blogs and profiles and stuff."

I write down the answer to the first question. "That still isn't funny."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting there. So anyway, because of my name, or at least the name I really went by with my friends for so long, there's something I've always wanted to say to the first girl I fall in love with."

I know the idiot is waiting for me to ask what it is he dreams of saying, but I won't give him that satisfaction. After a few silent seconds pass, he continues his story like nothing; it's like he took no offense at all.

"I want to confess to a girl I like and be like, 'I swear I'll protect you forever.' But when I say that, it has to be at the right time, you know?"

It's not amusing anymore when you take so long.

"I wanna wait for a moment where I can be really cool and then say, 'I'll be your Hero. I'll be your Knight.' Get it?" Naruto starts guffawing madly and rolls onto his back, holding his stomach. Somehow, I don't find this nearly as amusing as he does.

"Very funny." I humor the idiot. I don't think Naruto understands the sarcasm, or maybe he strangely finds it humorous, because he starts giggling even harder until I swear I see tears escape his eyes. Part of me wants to laugh from seeing this guy make such a fool of himself, but I must maintain my composure. I don't see how even someone like him could find this funny, and why would he even bother to tell me this in the first place?

I am an Uchiha. I will remain calm. I will remain focused. I will not lose sight of my goals.

There is a knock at my door.

"Sasuke," a voice utters icily in Japanese.

Father.

"Is that your dad?" Naruto asks eagerly, scrambling to get up. "Can I meet him?"

"No!" I whirl around to face him. Panic sets in my body, and Naruto throws me an odd look, but I somehow recall enough composure to shake my head, straighten out my legs, and face the door. "That's not a good idea. I'll be back in a few minutes."

As long as someone else is here, everything will be okay.

But maybe I should let him come meet Father after all.

It takes agonizing seconds for me to twist open the doorknob and exit my bedroom, then come face-to-face with my father.

Father seems to be okay. There still isn't any whiff of alcohol on him, and his eyes seem very focused on me. His skin is its normal tan color, and he is wearing a white and faded green kimono, the plain one he normally wears at home. There is something dark and unappealing in the curve of his frown, and it takes me a few seconds to remember that as long as Naruto is on the other side of this door, I'll be okay.

"Is something the matter, Father?" I ask in respectful Japanese, bowing ninety degrees.

"Who said you could bring someone into my house?" He clenches his fists, and I automatically stiffen as I return upward.

"I'm sorry, but this is a necessary matter." I avoid Father's eyes. "It is for a school assignment that requires me to work with someone."

That's not entirely true, but if I didn't say that, I have a feeling something terrible would happen.

"You are not allowed to bring someone into my home without permission!" Father's voice transitions into a shout, and I involuntarily jerk from surprise. "You must study in order to, like all other Uchiha, attain perfection, and if you have no choice but to work with someone to do this, that is fine, but not inside my house! Uchihas value privacy, and that includes the home! Is that clear?"

"Understood." I bow again ninety degrees, not daring to budge from this position. "Please excuse me for my insolence. I'll make sure that Naruto leaves as soon as possible."

"Good. I know that you're capable of so much more, Sasuke." Father huffs before stalking off back to his office, slamming the door shut behind him. Even though he's gone, I'm still frozen in my deep bow.

But he's right. I shouldn't have brought someone into his house without asking for his permission first. What I did was wrong and, quite frankly, stupid. I'm lucky that I escaped this without punishment.

Father believes in me though. He realizes I'm better than this, and that's likely why I'm still okay.

"Sasuke? Are you okay?" a muffled voice asks me from the other side of the door.

"Yes," I reply quietly, then fling open my bedroom door and shut it quietly behind me. "Let's finish this quickly."

"What did he say?" Naruto interrogates me. "He sounded mad."

I can't seem to control my fingers well enough to push the right keys, and my head starts to throb even harder. "He was just mad that I didn't tell him I had a classmate come over."

Naruto nods, but then pauses hesitantly. "Are you sure you're okay? You're really pale."

"I'm coming down with a cold," I reassure him even though I can feel vomit sitting at the back of my throat. "That's all."

Even though he's stupid, I'm not sure if he believes me.

* * *

The end of the week comes too quickly. It's Friday already, and I can feel Naruto's eyes burn into me, asking if I am going to his house tonight or not. I hadn't decided yet when Kakashi handed out our marked psychology tests. I take a look at me mark wh -

No.

I've screwed up. I can't believe I've fallen this far. I was never like this. I must be stupid. I need to hire a tutor.

I failed my test.

A large red circle encases those demonic numbers, the numbers that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Those numbers are a percentage, a percentage that showcases my lack of intelligence and stupidity.

Ninety-nine percent.

This is unacceptable.

Don't mock me, Kakashi, by writing 'Well done' beside such a score. I have failed. I am an embarrassment to my family. What will Father say? What will Nii-san say? What would Mom say? Where did I go wrong? I was so close to my goal, but I didn't reach it, and that makes it a failure.

Apparently, the mistake was that I confused serotonin with dopamine. I double check my notes and textbook. No matter how I look at it, Kakashi is right. I made a mistake.

How could I have made such a stupid mistake? Was it because I had a….head injury when I wrote this test?

I can't go home tonight. There's no way I can face anyone with this embarrassment of a mark. I'm a failure compared to Nii-san. My stomach is rising toward my throat, bubbling in preparation for its launch out my mouth.

Wait, today is the day of Naruto's party. I was not planning on attending, but maybe I can go there instead of going home until I think about the best way to fix this. I could always just not show Father this assignment, then pray that my average will be rounded up to one hundred percent on my report card. But if report cards come out and my average is less than one hundred percent, I'm scared to think of what he might do to me. He might just kill me.

The classroom is a whorl of different shades, colours, and numbers. I can't see straight. My life is over.

"Wow, a ninety-nine?!" A voice booms beside me, and I don't need to glance over to see that it's Naruto. "That's awesome! I wish I could have marks that high!"

You imbecile. Perhaps compared to your standards, a ninety-nine percent is a good mark, but to me, it's not remotely passable. Maybe I should talk to Kakashi and see if there's any way I can do an assignment to replace this test mark.

"It's a failure," I scoff as I slip the assignment into my backpack.

Naruto's mouth drops. "That's not even an Asian fail! Why are you complaining?"

What's an Asian fail?

"It's not good enough for my standards." I cross my arms irritably.

"Wait, you got a ninety-nine percent?" Sai hops over to me on his crutches. "Can you tell me what I did wrong on my test? I only got a ninety-eight percent."

I glare at him. "I'm not good enough to tutor you."

Sai blinks at me before making his way back to his seat.

"What the hell?" Naruto huffs at our seemingly strange, at least to him, conversation and walks off to rejoice about his seventy-two percent with Kiba as if it is something to be proud of.

If only these people understood how important it is to me to be perfect, maybe they wouldn't treat me like I'm some sort of lifeless nerd. It is my job to bring honour to my family, live up to my own standards...

And my father's standards.

This mark can't stay like this. I doubt the teacher will understand me enough to help me, but it is worth trying. I march to Kakashi's desk like I'm marching to my doom, and he glances up at me from his book with a lazy eye.

"What can I do for you, Sasuke?" He tosses his novel onto his desk.

"Is there any way I could do another assignment in return for you not counting this test in my overall grade?" I ask, pointing to the cruel, blood red numbers at the top of the assignment.

He raises an eyebrow. "Why would you want to do that?"

"My mark does not reach my standards," I say solemnly.

Kakashi leans back in his cheap office chair. "I don't give make-up assignments to anyone who got more than a seventy percent."

"You won't make an exception?" I nearly plead, disgusted by myself.

"No. I can see why you're mad - I was like you once, but you'll learn later that things like this don't really matter."

"He's right." Shikamaru's voice suddenly invades my head, and I jump.

"I didn't see you there," I turn to face the lazy boy. Shikamaru is sitting on Choji's desk by the door, waiting to get out of class as soon as the bell sounds.

"Don't think about it so much," he drawls. "In the ends, grades aren't worth shit as long as you do something worthwhile. If you really need to get into university, a couple of percentage points aren't gonna affect which university accepts you, and they all give you the same piece of paper anyway. A lot of universities want us to have social lives too, not just marks, so think about that."

Nii-san was the school president during his years in high school. I already know about applying to university. You don't understand at all what my life is like, nor about what I need to achieve, so don't dare you say things like that to me when they don't apply to me.

"Just come to Naruto's party tonight," he suggests after suppressing a yawn. "Man, it's troublesome, but I don't want him yelling at me about you not showing up."

* * *

Naruto's house is a bit far from Konoha Private High School, about a forty-minute walk, but I chose to take a detour that makes the trip about two hours instead. Since I can't go to a party covered in sweat, I didn't bother running there, but I will be doing marathon-long runs as of tomorrow so I can beat that idiot in our rematch.

The house is acceptable, at least on the outside. It looks like it belongs to a relatively wealthy family, though I wouldn't say that the owners are exactly rich. The house is two floors tall with a balcony on the top floor, and the arch-shaped windows are of average width, but extremely tall. In fact, now that I'm more acutely looking at it, the house is quite gothic. Black wood, a triangular shape cut out of the roof to reveal a central window, ornate designs along the porch...How is it that someone so cheery as Naruto even lives here?

I suppose it doesn't matter right now since I still have to go buy him a birthday present. Nii-san always makes sure that I have a credit card ready to use in case of an emergency, and because of who we are, that includes social emergencies. This is one of those cases in which I need to use it.

But this house does not look at all like somewhere Naruto would even dare to be five blocks from. Do I have the right address? There's no way…

"Sasuke!" The front door bursts open, and though I almost expect bats to fly out at me, a whirl of yellow and blue careens down the front yard and swerves into me, nearly knocking me over instead.

"Sasuke, are you here for my party? You're early, but that's okay! Come in, my parents are here too!"

Naruto must have some sort of sixth sense considering I wasn't even standing near the front door when he came out to greet me, though I suppose he could have seen me from the huge windows. Why is he acting all excited though? Last time I heard, he didn't even want me at his party, and it was Sakura who forced him to really invite me.

I haven't bought a present yet either. As much as I hate Naruto, it would bother me to just show up at his house and not bring anything.

"Naruto, get off of me!" I attempt to pull away, but the idiot doesn't even hear me. He just drags me beyond the threshold, skipping like an overexcited child.

The architecture on the inside is just as gothic as the outside. The color scheme of the walls is a mix of dark mahoganies, charcoals, and browns, and the furniture is all quite archaic. The fragrant smell of incense makes my nose tingle and my eyes water. Are his parents part of a cult? This house clearly has absolutely no influence from Naruto whatsoever.

The overly ecstatic boy halts suddenly at what looks like the kitchen, though there is such little light that it is difficult to tell, and two people, another blond and a redhead, are hunched over at a table. At the sound of our footsteps, they suddenly seem to spin out of their chairs and land in front of me.

The tall, slender man sticks out his hand. "Hello! I'm Naruto's father, Minato Namikaze. You must be Sasuke."

I shake the man's hand firmly as the redheaded woman with deep blue eyes pipes in. "Naruto has told us so much about you! I'm his mother, Kushina Uzumaki."

Hm, it's somewhat strange that Naruto's mom didn't take his dad's last name, and Naruto has his mom's last name. But besides that, this entire family is just so..._cheery. _To put it in perspective, they are like those excessively pleasant neighbors in books that lure people into their houses in order to kill them. They are just so nice that it's rather unsettling. Was it really such a good idea to come here instead of just going home? I could get killed here too.

"I didn't mean to intrude," I say. "I was just in the area on some personal business when Naruto invited me in."

"It's no problem!" all three of them say at the exact same time. "We love guests!"

Why am I here again?

"Maybe you two can do some homework while your father and I start setting up for the party." Naruto's mom smiles. "We want you to be surprised tonight!"

"Okay!" Naruto again drags me away from the scene as quickly as he dragged me there, barely giving me the chance to protest - I still need to buy a present. But before I know it, we've ascended the spiraling staircase and have entered his bedroom.

No wonder Naruto called my bedroom dull. This room is full of bright oranges and lemon yellows to the point where my eyes want to bleed. The floor is hardwood covered by a small, also orange area rug, but it's hard to make it out with the piles of clothes and papers on the floor. Even the room is tinged with the scent of oranges. An arc-shaped window leads to outside, displaying the late afternoon sky that makes me nervous. Naruto also has a neon lime night table and matching desk with various assortments of art supplies, movies, and random oddities spread out everywhere.

"You can put your bag and violin wherever you want," Naruto jumps onto his bed nonchalantly, causing a pile of papers to explode onto the floor.

"Actually," I place my bags on the ground, "I need to go do something quickly. I was just double checking where your house was."

"Oh yeah, I heard. What do you need to do?" He sits up, cocking his head like some animal. "I guess I'm the one who dragged you in here, so I'll go with you."

It'll be helpful to have Naruto along while shopping for him, so I might as well take him with me.

"I need to pick up some materials from the art store for a presentation in music class," I lie - I've been getting good at that lately. "It's urgent because I'm meeting with my partner first thing in the morning tomorrow, so I need to get the supplies ready."

"Oh, that sounds like fun!" He springs off his bed into a running position. "Let's go!"

Without even waiting for me, the idiot sprints out of his room and is out the front door before I even have a chance to move.

* * *

I don't really know too much about art. I can tell that all the supplies are different from each other, but I could never explain what the differences are. Is there really a use to different kinds of paper or pencils?

The art store Naruto dragged me to is chaotic, and all the products are in utter disarray. The owners are probably just lazy, but they could at least have some pride in what they do. The odor of dried up paint is nauseating, and there's a fine layer of pencil shaving dust over everything, the floor included.

That Naruto must have never taken a music class in his life if he thinks I actually need to do a project for music class, or maybe he is just gullible. Regardless, Naruto pores over the messy, unorganized products, oohing and aahing over every little thing. His azul eyes twinkle with excitement like a child in a toy store, but constantly dart toward the pencils. It's a good thing I'm skilled at observation because I'd have no idea what to buy this fool otherwise.

Pencils. But which should I choose from?

"Naruto, I'm going to buy myself some pencils." I sigh casually. "Which ones would you recommend?"

The blond dashes over to me, a huge smile on his face. "For regular use, take these." He points to a package, seemingly random to me. "If you want to draw, this one is expensive, so I've never tried it, but I heard it's good." He shoves in my face a single packaged pencil, which looks like every other pencil to me.

I nod. "Thanks." Naruto springs off again, perfectly content, but I could have sworn I saw longing in those excessively bright blue orbs of his.

I search for a price tag amongst the piles of product, covering my hands in pencil but all the while, but eventually succeed only to wince. Twenty dollars for a single pencil...that's about two thousand yen, and for a single pencil?

I must be too kindhearted; I'm seriously going to buy this.

I stroll nonchalantly to the cash register and silently pay for Naruto's birthday present, only speaking to request that it be wrapped. Naruto never even notices anything until I nudge him to signal our leave, his present in a plastic bag.

"Come on, I need to go to the supermarket now."

"Why the hell are you buying groceries?"

"A present for your parents, dumbass."

"Why do they need a present?"

"It's called manners."

Naruto crosses his arms. "Can you meet me back here when you're done? I think I'll stay a while longer."

I nod before heading out. I end up just buying a fruit bowl before meeting Naruto again at the art store and going back to his place.

* * *

Music pounds in my ears so loudly that they feel like they're burning. I should have just gone home. Whether I'm at home and in pain or at a party and in pain, I might as well go where I can at least study and go to bed.

Unfortunately for me, no one else feels this pain, as music has been blasted out of Naruto's speakers at the loudest volume possible for the past hour and yet no one seems to be as annoyed or in agony as me. I'm not too familiar with popular music, neither foreign nor Japanese, and it's not like I can familiarize myself with the music that is popular here while my ears are bleeding like this.

It's a small party, though perhaps huge by Naruto's standards. Shikamaru, Sakura, Ino, Kiba, and Naruto are dancing, shouting, laughing, and shoving cake into their mouths. What am I doing? I'm sitting at the kitchen table doing absolutely nothing. I was never exactly good at making friends or socializing, and this showcases that quite nicely. I've chosen to abandon those two things rather than fail at them miserably.

"Yo, Sasuke!" I hear someone call my name, their voice…

Intoxicated?

Naruto's parents told me there would be no alcohol at this party. I am allowed to drink champagne or wine politely at social events if I must, but never something like beer alone and without permission. They're upstairs, aren't they? Why haven't they done something about this yet?

"Why don't you come over here? It'll make you feel soooo niiiice," Naruto slurs, hiccuping.

"Naruto, there isn't any alcohol at this party." I raise an eyebrow.

He grins at me loopily. "Yeah there is! Just look at the cans!"

There aren't any cans nearby, but by looking at Naruto's behaviour, it really does seem like this is alcohol at work. What non-alcoholic drink could make him sway like that with such a goofy grin? Actually, he is normally like that, but this behaviour is twice as bad as usual. I can even see Kiba dancing with a lampshade on his head in the background.

I should get going. I left Naruto's present by the door, and I can't afford to be seen in this sort of situation. What if the police come? I don't like how alcohol changes people either...Just thinking about it makes vomit pool at the back of my throat.

Without even glancing at the party, I gently trod up the staircase and collect my backpack and violin from Naruto's bedroom. Shrugging, I toss the bag onto my back and head back down the staircase. Just as I'm about to slip out the door unnoticed, Naruto, though bumping into the wall a few times along the way, speeds over to the door with me.

"And where are you going?" he whines. "You can't go home yet."

"I need to be home early so my father doesn't worry," I say honestly. That really is partially why I want to leave. It's already 7:00 at night, and I still have to walk home and study.

"But Sasukeee," he smiles cheekily at me, his face strangely getting closer and closer to my own. Nerves tackle my chest, but I can't back away any further; my backpack is pushing against the locked door, and the hallway is too narrow to get around him. My voice is currently unavailable, for nothing I say comes out, and shit, my arms are like jelly, why can't I just push him away and -

Naruto's lips, tinged with the taste of alcohol, meld into mine with such force that I am knocked against the door, and a river of agony flows through my still concussed head. I try to push him off me, but his arms restrain me with drunken strength, and I can feel his hot breath on my face.

Stop it!

I regain my arms and manage to throw Naruto off of me, panting heavily. He looks up at me from the floor with a loopy smile, but doesn't say anything.

I can't take this anymore. He says he hates me, and now he wants to kiss me? What is his problem?

I can't do this. I'm straight. I'm going to marry a beautiful, rich Japanese girl and have children to carry on the family name. I have never been and will never be interested in men, especially ones that aren't of the same status as me. I have just been thoroughly violated and feel so disgusting, I can't stand myself.

That's right. I felt nothing just now but horror and filth.

...

I don't want or need to remember anything tonight. Just pass me the alcohol.

* * *

(1) - _Itee_ is just a rougher version of _itai, _which means "ow" in Japanese.

(2) - This is a Japanese expression that means, "don't flatter me."

(3) - _Sama_ is an honorific denoting that Hinata is of higher status than Neji. This makes it clear that Neji is speaking Japanese to Hinata.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm trying to convey certain concepts without spelling them out and instead hoping you can see them for yourselves. I also recommend you listen to at least the first movement of 'Souvenir de Florence' since it is really epic. Anyway, thank you for reading!


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